A happy-go-lucky English rambler dude goes to New Zealand for a year. Here he interfaces with some of those he left behind and details his nefarious activities. Or summat.
Recently clicked on MP3s - 7th June 2005 The Lucksmiths - Warmer Corners
Jens Lekman - When i said i wanted to be your dog
The Trashcan Sinatras - Weightlifting
Teenage Fanclub - Man Made
Laura Veirs - Carbon Glacier
The Decemberists - Picaresque
The Eels - Blinking Lights
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
A quick hello & merry new year to you all.
I do hope the new year gets a bit happier for everyone than this year has finished up. Virtually everyone i know (Sadly including me) seems to have some kind of horrible heartbreak going on, or major life alterations to go through.
It can't believe it's only been a year since i was paragliding over Taylor's mistake to finish off 2001, that seems like a whole other life. Could have done with a bit of Paragliding today actually, but i'm going to make do with going round to Boney's for some traditional Italian new year nosh courtesy of Alessia, and then some traditional English booze (Maybe even Belgian if i get lucky) at the Pump and Tap pub.
Would like to write more now, but i'm getting a lift into town with Alison, and as i found out to my cost last night when we went to see the Two Towers (What a wonderful fillum), if i'm not ready when she's decided to leave the house i will get left behind. So i've got to skidaddle, have a shower, and put on my favourite stupid cowboy shirt.
Anyway, happy everything, to everyone, love Mark
8:58 pm Wednesday, December 11, 2002
Just thought i'd share something i learnt today with you all.
Never give anything to charity shops before checking what it's worth on on ebay. Some of the old Carp fishing books i gave away a few weeks ago are apparently worth about £50 each, as they're all out of print. ARSEBURGER!
I would tell you the titles, but i've ordered Mother off on a reconaisance mission first thing tomorrow morning, hopefully to go and buy them back. So everyone stay away from the RSPCA and Age Concern shops in Birstall tomorrow OK? I've got first dibs.
1:57 am Saturday, December 07, 2002
coo ee. I'm still here.
I suppose the lack of posts is mainly down to my own inherent laziness, but my other excuse is that life is still pretty hard work for me at the moment. As i said before it's not the sort of stuff that i'd want to plaster all over the internet, and while it's all still going on, it's kind of hard to come up with amusing anecdotes about all the fun i'm having at work, how great the weather is and the joy of giving yourself sleep depravation whilst watching the English Cricket team vying to bring the ashes back home. er, woo.
The other main focus in my life disappeared today... I discovered that my application for the London marathon has been rejected. Somewhere not very deep down inside me, i'm probably quite relieved i don't have to cane myself all through X-mass and the new year to get super fit, but the idea of managing to do something as badass as a marathon was quite exciting, and i'm pretty chuffed with how motivated i've been with my training so far. My standard training run is up to 6 miles, and despite not having any daylight to go running in, i do look forward to my runs, especially after being stuck in a pokey little office, pissing around with computers all day.
So as not to 'waste' all the training i've done so far (SHIT! I could have been scoffing pies and watching telly for the last 3 months), i'll probably apply to do another marathon, or maybe a wussy half-marathon. But the London marathon really is the daddy of them all, and i reckon i might struggle to get as motivated for the Stoke marathon (One of the alternatives. Oooh.).
Hmmm i'll stop moaning now, as it isn't doing me, and definitely not you, any good. Good stuff that's been going on in the last few weeks includes.....
Several smart gigs. This week Badly Drawn Boy at Rock city - Great songs, and a top show, in which BDB pinched an audience member's mobile phone, had a brief chat with his mate, then used it to phone his dad, and dedicate the next song to him. Aww. He also found time to do a bit of Englebert style serenading of a female audience member. As a finale to the evening, i got to have a ride in Andy's bitching old-skool beetle! I should have been getting a lift home with Pablo, Boney and Alessia, but when Pablo's car broke down, i helped with one (failed) push start, and then shamefully sped off into the night, leaving them waiting for the breakdown man to come. (They insisted it was OK. OK?)
Also went to see the 'Anti-folk' label tour a couple of weeks ago, at Lestar's latest live venue, 'Sumo'. Very good it was too, in a super lo-fi way - the girl drumming for 'Prewar Yardsale' played a bucket for god's sake (Weird). Sounds daft, but it all somehow worked out real good. Especially Kimya from the Moldy peaches' almost painfully intimate set and Jeffrey Lewis' songs / flipchart finale (Think a kind of homedrawn music video). Worthy mentions to Prewar yardsale, Major Matt Mason USA & Doofus too.
Prewar Yardsale and their buckets
The gig i went to last Sunday was possibly the nicest surprise however. Alison Moyet. er, yes that Alison Moyet, the 80's throwback. (Oddly looking a lot better now than she did in the 80's. Although come to think of it, that's true for most people. Except perhaps Rob Martin. (;op) And Michael Jackson. And Princess Diana. Er, I digress...). Not a gig i would have chosen to go to myself, but a mate from NZ i wanted to catch up with had a spare ticket, so i thought why not, and i'm glad i did. I can honestly say i've never heard a more impressive voice live, she could really let rip, and 'fill' the venue without going all OTT and warbly like some kind of Mariah Carey cack. The venue, the Old Vic theatre, in London village was pretty special too, very ornate and with a scarily large chandelier in the middle of the ceiling.
Other assorted good things in life: Meeting up with travelling mates (Hiya! To Kim, Ursula & Susie), and being able to yack on about NZ people and places etc, without having the eyes of the person your talking to glaze over!
Going to watch the mighty city, and knowing there's a good chance we're going to score a few, and quite possibly, win. (For as long as the cash holds out anyways)
Having a bitching bicycle (Deore components all round, red Mavic rims and er, double butted spokes!). And more importantly a super flash, official Maillot Jaune to wear whilst riding it.
Having broadband web access, and being able download ridiculous numbers of Jackass videos, MP3s and listen to some quality radio stations - Melbourne's Triple R in particlular (Completely playlist & commercial cack free. If the Guardian was Australian, and a radio station, it would be Triple R. Knowwaddamean? Sadly i still have to listen to Radio 1 all day at work. If it wasn't for Mark & Lard, i would have gone beserk weeks ago, run off on a blood crazy rampage, and not returned until i managed to track down DJ Sami and murder him, and the stupid bint that sings on his latest single by forcing them to drink melted down copies of their latest cd single. Harsh? I think not)
Finally, getting a bit of sleep. It's important for us athelete types you know. Not to mention us lazy arse types too. Nighty night...
3:53 am Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Shock horror probe: Ted posts to his webshite!
Sorry it's been so many eons since i last wrote anything here, but i've been going through a fairly crappy period in life, and haven't really had the emotional energy to come up with much positive stuff to write about. Does that sound a bit melodramatic? Maybe. Anyway, if you know me, you'll know what i'm on about, and if you don't, you don't want to know about it, honestly.
Reasons to be cheerful?
Firstly i've got a job! Not an entirely good thing i know, especially as the company i work for doesn't operate the same punctuality guidlines as Z-Web (i.e. Turn up after you get bored of watching the Shortland Street re-runs in the morning!). No, i have to be in for 9am sharp, or..., well i'm not sure what, because amazingly after 3 weeks i've not been late once. Whodathunkit?
Having a bit of cash coming in has meant i've been able to indulge some of my more bizarre tastes in life. No, not the bathful of live eels and mushy peas i'm always talking about, but the music of the Lucksmiths and Darren Hanlon. After several months of heavy rotation, i'm still not sick of either of them, so i thought it was about time i supported Candle records, and actually bought some (well, all) of their cd's (Mail order from Melbourne, as the rather backward music distributors in the UK don't share my enthusiasm for them). And there can't be many record labels in the world, where the 'CEO' parcels up the cd's and signs the customs label, but that's another reason to love them. Probably not according to Bobnoxious, who recently described the music of Darren Hanlon as 'Indie Spaz'. But i think that's just his guilt complex showing through, trying to cover up his own 'Indie spaz' crimes commited back in the heyday of Indie Spazziness.
Another Melbourne related reason to be extremely cheerful is that i'm not a drug dealer who has annoyed Mark 'Chopper' Read. I got volume 1 of his autobiography for my birthday, and you really wouldn't believe the number of nasty things he's done to the Melbourne gangsters over the years. Bashings, houses burnt down, ears cut off (Oh hang on, he cut his own ears off), feet blow-torched, hands nailed to coffee tables etc, etc. Just as well i kept my nose clean during the week i was there. Bizarrely, he's gone on to do a Road Safety advert (He's persuaded me!), and a children's book!
In an effort to appear slightly bad-ass myself (Not quite as bad in the ass department as Chopper however), and to keep motivated to stay fit, i've applied to do the London Marathon next year. At the moment I can run about 10k's before i start feeling a bit odd, and my heart rate monitor gives me less than a week to live. So i do need to get out a bit more than i have been, but the dark & wet at this time of year aren't all that appealing. If anyone likes the idea of running in endless circles around the local gravel pits, i'd love to have training partner. And as a bonus I could entertain you with endless Carp related anecdotes from my youth, as i used to go fishing in the area. Not to mention getting bombed on Tennents Super and MerryDown cider (Usually whilst fishing).
Ho hum. Time for bed. I'll leave the final word to Uncle Chopper.
"You won't like the smell of your own feet burning. No-one ever does."
Sweet dreams!
2:31 am Tuesday, October 01, 2002
Coo eee! Well i'm still managing to avoid the world of gainful employment, though i can feel it slowly closing in on me. A statement from the student loans company i received yesterday gave me 4000 reasons why i should be getting a job as soon as possible.
Despite being dole scum, I have been doing lots of other very constructive things, like er, tidying my bedroom (What am i, a 10 year old?!). My bedroom is not like other bedrooms though. For the last few weeks i've been living amongst several generations of accumulated gumpf, and yesterday i snapped and decided to attempt to tidy it up (ie chuck it out). It's been an awesome task, but there are now charity shops all over Leicester bursting at the seams with James Herbert novels, Carp fishing magazines, outdated computer science text books and Paul Weller singles. In fact i'd imagine the homless problem in Leicester will soon be solved, and old folk will be getting chauffered around in Bentleys, due to the extra income from all of my stuff being sold in the charity shops.
Another major achievement is finally getting my bike fixed up - with some flash new Deore v-brakes, and rather tasteful toeclips. Although unkind people may say that i simply watched Rob fix my bike while i ate fig rolls, i would insist that i played a major part: in choosing the colour of my new brakes, as well as getting them out of the packet. Thanks again for the help Rob. And the lift to the bike shop. And the free handlebars. And the fig rolls.
But by far the fun-est thing i've done since returning back to blighty though, was a birthday trip to the Milton Keynes Snow dome, courtesy of Alison, my snowboarding sis (Thanks again :o). People who saw me snowboarding in NZ may find this hard to believe, but during the 2 hour session on the real indoor snow, i finally got the hang of snowboarding!!! I wasn't quite joining in on the jumps and rails, but i can now happily swoosh down the slope at a reasonable speed, without falling over, or screeching to a halt after every turn. Annoyingly i wasn't quite as fast as Alison though, humph. Come to think of it, if she was any kind of sister, she'd have let me win surely?
Not quite Cardrona, but it'll do
8:47 pm Monday, September 23, 2002
Hiya. As people are still visiting the site, and i've not got around to finishing off my new site, i thought i should keep posting on here for now.
Well, there is life after New Zealand. It's just a bit different.
I've gradually caught up with all my old mates, and seen all my old Lestar haunts, so the novelty of being back is wearing off, and i'm having to get back to having a 'normal' life again. Happily this doesn't mean i've not been doing funstuff though.
Last week my comrade in kayaking, James Hieronymus Gates, phoned me from London village and asked, "Fancy coming down to London to see Hope Sandoval play, and stay over in my bitching Loft Style Apartment?".
There really is only one answer to that question, so the next day i was on the train down to London, and had a great evening with James, Hope and the drummer out of Supergrass (Who i bumped into in the toilet at the gig, cor!). Some of you may not be familiar with the work of Hope (Singer out of Mazzy Star), but that fact that James and I both almost fell asleep at the gig shouldn't put you off her. She ROX! If it is possible to ROCK! in a dreamily, hypnotic, seductive way?
Hope Sandoval - schwing
I would have spent the whole weekend in the smoke with James, if i didn't have to return for the ultimate confrontation in the world of Association Football - Leicester City Versus Derby County. As well as being my first City game for a year, it was also my first game at our new 30,000 seater stadium, which was so nearly called the Walker's Crisp bowl! (Which would have been quite cool if you ask me. But they didn't). I didn't really have high expectations for the new ground, but it and the team were much better than could be expected. There was a great atmosphere in the place, with songs coming from all areas of the ground, rather than just from the kop, like at Filbert street, and just the simple fact of having 30 000! people at a Leicester home game was impressive. Oh, and the team? They twatted the sheep-shaggers 3-1!! COME ON!! :oD
And on a slightly more relaxed note, Mother and I went to (almost) the last Cricket game of the season at Grace road, a day / night one dayer against Somerset. Poor old Leicestershire never really looked like winning, (despite Somerset being without Trescothick and Caddick) after a rather horrible middle order collapse. But Somerset had an attack of the jitters themselves, so it did end up going down to the last over. It was still very enjoyable, but in more of a 'flask of tea and fruitcake' way, than the test matches i went to in NZ.
For anyone with access to digital TV, and who doesn't have a job, or any interest in leaving the house all afternoon, i would heartily reccommend tuning into Eurosport's coverage of 'La Vuelta', or the Tour or Spain. Cycle racing is infinitely more interesting than say Formula One, not to mention anything else on TV in the afternoons. As a further bonus, the commentator on Eurosport, David Duffield, is possibly one of the most entertaining men on TV. Imagine a cycling Alan Partridge, only slightly less coherent (but in a nice way).
David Millar - UK's best hope in la Vuelta. Who today crashed into a ditch. Bugger.
Another reccommendation, 'Insomnia', starring Al Pacino, Robin Williams and Hilary Swank. Went to see it tonight with me sister. Very good stuff. Would say more about it, but it's now 4am, and i don't suffer from Insomnia, so i really should be asleep. So i can get up early and open all my birthday present! (No plural required sadly - sniff).
4:13 am Wednesday, September 11, 2002
Despite doing my best to miss my plane home, i'm now sitting back in "good old" Leicester.
I spent far too long in an internet caff writing the last two posts in Vancouver, so i didn't leave myself much time to get over to the North shore, to do the Grouse Grind. But, i really wanted to do it, and finish my year off in style, so i went for it anyway. I managed to knock 4 mins off my last time, clocking in at 58mins this time, which was pretty respectable. However the ferry back into downtown Vancouver didn't set any records, and by the time i got back there were only 60ish mins till my plane left, giving me the perfect excuse to hail a cab and say, "Airport driver! And STEP ON IT!"
The airport was a 30 minute drive from downtown, so by the time i'd picked up my bags from the hostel, got to the airport, and got changed out of my sweaty rambling togs (No time for a shower before the 9HOUR flight! Yuk, stinky me!! :oS ) there was about 20 minutes till the flight when i checked in, which pissed off the airline staff no end. Neverthless i got the last seat, and was driven across the terminal at break neck speed, on a golf buggy, with a similarly late French couple. And you thought i'd learn from my Christchurch airport experiences? Pah!
For the past week i've been getting over jet lag (Well, using it as an excuse to stay in bed all day) and catching up with all my mates and family here. I was really nervous about seeing everyone again, and even got choked up just driving into Leicester on the National Express. But without exception, after 5 minutes of chatting to people it felt as though i hadn't been away at all. Weird.
Things i've noticed about the UK since my return include:
- Everyone has mobile phones, and seem to be using them all the time
- People drive really fast
- There are traffic lights everywhere, and they're usually on red
- Rugby isn't on tv all the time
- Curries taste GREAT! And the poppadoms are free - There are no mountains anywhere - Digital TV is mostly crap (But still better than NZ telly)
As this website was designed to keep my UK friends updated on my NZ activities, i suppose it's really come to the end of it's current life (Tho' fear not NZ - i shall return). But, as i've come to enjoy fiddling around with my website (Despite fiddling with websites for a living too), i think i'm going to set up a new one, to bore all my NZ / Aussie / Canadian mates, with my UK activities. So stand by for details of that in the near future.
In the meantime, i'd better get to bed at a reasonable hour for once (I can't really keep using the jetlag excuse now i've been back a week). Oh, and can i leave you with a piece of hair related advice - Never get your hair cut, whilst drunk, by a devious drunken friend and a devious-er sister. Or your head will end up looking like a lumpy bowling ball covered in velcro. Trust me.
1:21 am Sunday, September 01, 2002
Without wanting to get too nauseating here, by way of a bit of a conclusion for my years travelling, i'd like to quote Jeff Tweedy (Lead singer of Wilco) who last night sang,
"There's so much less to this than meets the eye".
Can't remember which song it was from (I'd had several pints of Kokanee by then), or what on earth he actually meant by it, but to me, it sort of summed up how i've come to feel about travelling. Before i left it seemed like such a big, scary thing to do, but in fact it's been one of the easiest, and most rewarding things i've ever done. So hopefully people reading this, may take some kind of inspiration from the fact that, if i can manage to get my ass round the world in one piece, then literally anyone can do it.
And if you ever get in trouble on your travels, just do what i do when i'm a bit lost - put on your best English accent, look a bit hapless and more often than not someone will come along help you out. Trust me, it works!
11:15 pm
Sorry for the total lack of updates lately. My only excuse is that i've been having far too good a time here in the land of Bryan Adams and checked shirts, to be faffing around in front of a computer. And i'm sure i'll be getting more than my fair share of computers when i go back to work...
What's been going on then? Well some of the edited highlights follow....
The weeks cycling round Vancouver.... Had a great time, didn't see any bears, but at one point i was forced to engage asquirrel in Mortal Kombat! (No really, it was throwing those pine cones at me with a passion). During the week we also met an Inuit Princess, shared a hostel with an 11 piece latino band (Who were up till 5am in the spa bath, getting pissed(er) and singing La Bamba, grrr) and i discovered they joys of Power Bars (For me, they had a similar effect to drinking 5 cups of coffee, and 3 litres of Lucozade).
Martin was great company too, not to mention doing all the route finding, shopping and cooking! Allowing me to crash out, and be a total lazy arse, after cycling 70-90k each day, why aren't all my other friends like that? (Guess i don't pay them enough i suppose :o( )
Although the cycling was great fun, the highlight of Canada has to be getting to know a whole new branch of the Edward clan, that until now were just names on Xmas cards. The 16 hour Greyhound journey over to Edmonton was hard work, but after that i was completely looked after, firstly being whisked off to Allen & Myrna's famous "House by the lake", where swimming, canoeing, Margeritas, pizza and pool were the order of the day :oD
Oddly my visit coincided with the Women's under 19 world cup, which is being held in Edmonton. Even more odd-er-ly, the day after i arrived England were playing Canada in the quarter finals! Naturally we attended, though Allen, Myrna and Tibor seemed completely oblivious to the fact that the big, nasty Canadian team were bullying the poor little English team, the only reason they won, er, 6-2. Humph. Once i'd cheered up after the loss (Took about 15 mins) it was off out for a slap up feed at the local Country club!, followed by Allen, Tibor and I going for an impromptu rally around the golf course, in a Golf cart clearly made for two people :o) [Late Footy update - The Canadians went on to kick to the crap out of the poncey Brazilians in the Semi, hurrah! All is forgiven]
I also discovered that the genes for Snowboarding and Musical ability are all on the Canadian side of the family :o(
Although i never got to see her in action, clearly Ainsley is slightly more advanced at the art of snowboarding than Alison and I - she wears a helmet, and does tricks. The only trick i managed whilst snowboarding was to scythe down an entire ski class of five year olds in a single turn (Sort-of on purpose).
And judging from the cd that Alexis, my personal tour guide to the groovier bits of Edmonton, gave me, she certainly has all of the vocal / guitar talent in the family. She's just back from a European tour with her choir, as well as singing & playing gee-tar in a band (I do hope you've sent that cd off to a few record labels Alexis? Crawlspace ROX!). (Alexis - "shut UP!")
Oh, and the Wilco gig last night was certainly worth putting back my flight for, sorry once again to everyone who's plans i messed up :o) Only a few hours to go before my flight now, so what should i do for my last activity on my travels? Well i'm going to take the ferry over to the North shore of Vancouver, home to the worlds most extreme mountain bikers, and go..... Rambling! Actually extreme, speed rambling to be precise, and try and beat my last time up the Grouse Grind. I can't really think of a more appropriate way to end my year (Apart from big-pants trekking maybe, but i think i'll save that till i get home :o)
10:58 pm Thursday, August 15, 2002
My week in Vancouver is just about over, so what else have i been up to, other than watching big gay fireworks displays and grooving to weird Icelandic bands?
I went to the cinema the other night, and watched 'The road to Perdition'. The gangster subject area is a bit of a departure from American Beauty, for Sam Mendes, but it's done in a similar style, and is very enjoyable.
The plot was almost a direct copy of a certain classic British Gangster film, which i won't name here, as it would totally give away the ending. And maybe police crime-detection levels in thirties America weren't great, but I think they would have paid slightly more attention to all the wholesale slaughter that was going on at times, than was shown in the film. Good stuff though.
Yesterday i went for a bit of excercise by climbing the 'Grouse Grind' as fast as i could, which was actually quite slowly by the end. The Grouse grind is a well used, super steep route up Grouse mountain, just outside of town. Lots of people use it as a training run, and the whole thing is made more competitive & fun by having smart card machines at the top and bottom to time your run. Your time then pops up on a screen in the cable car station at the top, and is shown along side the best for the day, season etc. Quite a good motivation to drag your ass up there just a little bit quicker. I made it in 64 minutes, not a patch on the record 26mins, and would have placed me 424 out of 492 people in last years race there, probably somewhere in the middle of the 50+ ladies competitors, yay!
I've also spent quite a bit of time ambling around town, trying and failing to find the world's thinnest building, i suppose it must really very thin indeed. Annoyingly it's in an extremely rough part of town, not an place where you want to hang around, staring gormlessly at your Lonely Planet for too long. In fact one of the things that has struck me about Vancouver is the horrendous number of bums hassling you for money all the time. Apparently it has such a bad problem as it's the warmest place in Canada, and the only place that you can be homeless and live through the winter.
Even so, i'm sure not all of the people hassling you are homeless, some even have signs saying "Need $$$'s for pot". (Reminds me, i was stopped by a guy in Hawaii asking for money so he could go to the cinema! - er, piss off mate)
A lot of their signs totally confused me, as they asked for, "A Loonie to get me through the night". Eh? Until I realised that Loonie is the Canadian slang for a one dollar coin.
Anyway, after a year in virtually homelessness free NZ, i'm getting a bit fed up with it. First I felt sad for them, then guilty that I wasn't helping them more and finally just pissed off with being hassled wherever i went. So i'm happy to report i'm getting away from Vancouver, and my 18-30's hostel, and getting out into the real Canada, bears and all, on a 7-day cycle tour!
It was supposed to be a big group thing, but apparently i'm the only person that's booked for it :oS However i've had a chat to the bloke running it (Sadly a cockney), and he seems like a fairly chatty, positive, entertaining type, so fingers crossed we won't be feeding each other to the bears after 2 days. I would write more about it here, but i've got to go and get packed up, and get a bit of kip really, so this link will have to suffice (Oh, i'm not doing the Yoga bit though). This is the guy i'll be with, and as his London - Australia ride is slightly more bad-ass than my Christchurch - Akaroa ride, he can carry the tent!
Nuts. My trainers have picked a bad night to fall to pieces.
8:09 am Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Went to the Mum gig last night (How cool is that? Going to see an Icelandic band in Vancouver), wonderful in every possible way.
The venue, 'Richard's on Richards', was nicely laid out (I watched the gig from up on a balcony), had plenty of character, and a cool red brick wall behind the band, that you seem to see in loads of North American venues. I learnt however, that in a previous, slightly seedier, life it was called Dicks on Dicks, ahem, and a had an entirely different clientele). Click here for pics of the venue.
As well as a good looking venue, the band themselves were fairly intruiging in appearance. The three lads all wore matching heavy metal band t-shirts, and the two twin sisters in the group both looked like extras from a BBC adaptation of The Railway children - petticoats a go-go!
Last but not least, they sounded incredible too. Obviously a talented bunch (Swapping instruments willy-nilly), they were playing the most bizarre range on instruments i've ever seen on the same stage. Cello's, guitars, keyboards, Moogs, an accordian, a kids-mini-air-keyboard-thing (Not sure if that's it's proper name) and the drummer's kit included a colander, dustbin lid, a strange clicky thing that he had to wind up as well as a cymbal that he raised and lowered into a bucket of water while playing it. Impressive.
I was slightly worried that their music might not have been that entertaining to watch/hear live, but it wasn't nearly as ambient as i had imagined, and the band were great to watch. They certainly can't be described as an ambient Belle and Sebastian anyway! I'd say it was more like the theme music to an underwater mystery film, where a Sperm Whale detective goes around investigating aquatic intrigue, and having adventures. Possibly. They were great anyway, and their cd is now high on my shopping list.
8:53 pm Monday, August 12, 2002
Although i may have been a stick in the mud when it came to going to fireworks displays in the past, when I found out that the Grand finale of the 'World championships' of fireworks displays was taking place in Vancouver last night, i couldn't really pass up the chance to go along.
I headed down there with a couple of lads from my room at the Global Village backpackers, who oddly seemed like two younger versions of a certain James Gates - Weezer t-shirts and Hair gel galore. I'm sure JG will be upset by this, but they were actually bigger Weezer fans than him, as their whole trip was arranged around Weezer's recent US tour, where they went to three gigs, as well as getting backstage to meet Rivers Cuomo - hardcore!
Did anyone go to the game? What was the ground like? Were we as good as it seems? What's up with the Omen theme?
Go Deano!
Even the Hawks won too!
9:49 pm
Bad news - i'm not in Hawaii anymore.
Good news - i'm in Canada - hurrah!
Vancouver seems like a fairly happening type of place thus far, and as is traditional i'm living in the Red light district.
All i've found out about the place so far is that there's an excellent, cheap pizza place down the road from the hostel - huge slices for $1.50 and run by a comedy New Yoik Eyetalian, who i expected to scream, "Quit bustin' my bawls!" at any second, at his overworked kitchen staff.
Also there's a Mum gig in town on Tuesday, which i may go to if i'm still here. Never actually heard any of their stuff, but an ambient, Icelandic, Belle and Sebastian can't be bad. (According to young Craig anyway).
Not quite worked out what i'll be doing here yet - i'm just off out to buy a Lonely Planet, but i'd imagine rambling, mountain biking and just maybe, Paragliding will be on the agenda.
9:31 pm Thursday, August 08, 2002
I survived the worst that Kilauea could throw at me. Which turned out to be a slow ooze of lava, and an awful lot of steam where the poor unsuspecting Pacific washed up onto a load of 2000c liquid rock - ouch!
The road leading to the lava flow was rather surreal, a perfectly good highway, until you came up to a huge, black field of congealed lava, leading from the summit all the way to the ocean.
Who left that lava lying around?
Driving over here, on the wrong side of the road, has been an experience in itself. At first it completely spun me out and i ended up taking several detours to avoid being the first person at the lights having to turn left. It was also hard to stop youself using the left wing mirror as the rear view, reaching for the belt in the middle of the car and opening the passenger door, only to notice the complete absence of a steering wheel. Nnngah!
By the time i went back to the airport, i just about had the hang of it, and was overtaking plenty of big-ass chevy pick ups. I didn't have much choice though, as i was unsurprisingly late for my flight back to Oahu.
[Warning to non ramblers - In depth account of hiking expedition follows]
Despite being slightly put off by peoples reactions when i told them i was thinking of climbing Mauna Kea, "What! Walk, up there! You can get 4WD tours up you know?", i decided to go for it. I didn't even let the fact that it was off limits for my hire car stop me.
It's not often you get the chance to climb a 4,205 metre mountain, so it had to be done.
The road up there was windy, desolate and steep, but the car was fine - until i parked up at the observatory visitor centre, when the engine coolant stuff boiled over, leaving a large, green puddle underneath the car, whoops! But i didn't let a potentially knackered car put me off, and after an hours acclimatisation i set off for the top. (Starting at 3000metres, higher than my previously biggest mountain! And no it's NOT cheating, SHUT UP!)
The first parts of the climb, were pretty steep, loose, scree, not too tough, but before long the first symptoms of altitude sickness started to kick in. To begin with i just felt slightly absent minded, and a little dizzy, but gradually got shorter and shorter of breath and my legs began to feel like lead.
As ever though, i just kept plodding away, picking my way through numerous volcanic cones, and passing a lake where the locals used to throw their babies umbilical cords, to guarantee them good luck, or possibly due to them all being completely mental.
Eventually though i popped out into 'Millimetre valley', the home of the world's top observatories. I would have loved to have a better look around them all, but only had the energy to look at the ones that the path went right next to.
I thought once i could see the observatories i'd be almost there, but no, a further hour or so of ass-dragging and wheezing was required to get to the top, occasionally being passed by 4WD's full of smug looking astronomers. I spent as long as i could do at the summit, but a rather vicious altitude related headache had begun to drill it's way through my brain, convincing me that i should go and seek out more oxygen immediately. The fact that it would be dark in 3 hours was also a deciding factor.
In traditional style, i made it back to the road just as it got totally dark. (If there's one thing i've learnt about hiking this year, it's make sure you're on a road by the time it gets dark - NOT stuck in a gorse bush, with a low power torch and an Australian. In the rain)
Even better, the car still seemed to be alive, though i kept the heaters on for as long as i could bear, to prevent any more overheating, with the limited amount of coolant i had left.
The gubbins lying around on top of Mauna Kea
[Tedious rambling stuff ends]
Back on the mainland of Oahu, i've been keeping busy. Rented a road bike today, and rode around the mostly gorgeous coastal road to Waimanapolu(?) Beach park and back, about 40 miles. Not bad, but i had to take several snooze stops on beaches along the way, so i doubt i'll be much of match for you Rob, on my return home :o(
Spending my last day in Hawaii in a slightly more relaxed fashion, watching my mate Dave do all the hard work in the World Ultimate Championships. Go DAVE!!
11:24 am Saturday, August 03, 2002
Aloha! Would you belive i'm writing this (Into a notebook) sitting under a Palm tree on Waikiki beach? Not bad!
The surf's not particularly up today, so there aren't many surfers about. There are however plenty of sun bathers and tourist geeks hanging around the beach.
Not sure if Waikiki is my cup of tea really, there's just too many people & hi-rise hotels (Driving into it at night you'd think you were on the outskirts of Birmingham rather than Hawaii)
However, when you've got your own palm tree, egg sandwich and the excellent new Bic Runga (That's pronounced Rung-ger isn't it Dan?) album on your cd player you can't really complain about life can you?
View from Diamond Head, where i climbed up to today
Things could be getting even better tomorrow, as i'm hoping to organise a flight out to the Big Island, to go and check out the live volcano, yes that's live pop pickers, Kilauea. As well as the observatories on top of the 4000m Mauna Kea. I may have a crack at walking up it, but the heat & humidity here is caning me just walking around town, so i'm not sure an attempt to almost double the height of my highest mountain is entirely sensible. Having said that, i've taken part in numerous less than sensible mountaineering expeditions, so you never know....
Kilauea - Safe for all the family!
PS, i'm pondering coming home a few days early to catch the last Darren Hanlon show in London. That's how good he is ok? But it depends on how things go in Canada. And if i can be arsed.
11:40 am Thursday, August 01, 2002
Hi, i'm Darren Hanlon, and I ROCK!
I know my taste in music is often derided by friends at home, (and now by people all over the world actually) But this time I'M RIGHT, ok?
Darren Hanlon, label mate of The Lucksmiths - is ACE (If time allowed i'd bang on about his witty, intelligent lyrics and super catchy, melodic pop songs, but it doesn't, so i won't) So if you happen to be in the UK in the next few weeks go and see him playing live, for gawd's sake. He's touring all over the place (See details here), and would be well worth the trip to Nottingham you pop fans in Lestar.
Click here for audio clips etc, if you need further proof. Honestly, this isn't another Cope situation ok? ;o) Hanlo' ROCKS!
Friday Aug 16
Darren Hanlon
with James William Hindle Palmer's Bar
Brighton, UK
Monday Aug 26 Darren Hanlon
with The Lollies,Liberty Ship
Doors 7:30pm Junktion 7, Canning Circus
Nottingham, UK
11:20 am
Well, it's my last night in Aussie so i suppose i should fill you in on all the exciting, action packed activities i've been up to since i last posted on here.
I'd love to, but unfortunately the most extreme thing i've done in the last few days is to, er, play a round of, ahem, golf.
Honestly, i tried to go Paragliding, but unfortunately i underestimated just how out of season Apollo bay would be. The weather seemed fine to me, but i suppose for the poor Aussies it's just too cold, so sadly everything was shut down. Except the golf course anyway.
Apart from indulging in extreme-golf (Oh wow, it actually exists!), i played chess with semi-professional dutch hockey players and went for the odd pre-breakfast jog down the beach. All very relaxing, and just what i needed before heading off to the hectic lifestyle of Hawaii tomorrow ;op
Thanks again to everyone who's made my time in Aussie so much fun & so much less hard work than it would have been otherwise - Tom, Aimee, Gill, The Lucksmiths, the bloke with 7 kids by 5 different women running the hostel in Katoomba (No really - eek), Emma, Phoebe - Netball Ninja extraordinaire, Georgina, Scott (Despite being a Brizzy fan), the weirdos on the Trams and last but not least Lilly Pilly.
10:50 am
Depressingly since leaving NZ, and my mobile phone, behind i've come to realise just how useful the annoying little things are.
For instance, if i had a mobile phone over here Emma and I could have avoided waiting for each other on the wrong street corners for half an hour, on a rather chilly Melbourne night. (To be specific, i would have realised I was on the wrong street corner a bit sooner.)
However the train journey out to Geelong has shown up their dark side. I was attempting to take in the passing Aussie countryside, and groove to the sounds of Melbourne's finest - Nick Cave, but was constantly bothered by the crackles of text message interference. Roughly every 10 mins someone nearby would get a texty (As they're called over here) and a series of loud cracky-cracky-crack noises would go off in my headphones, completely RUINING the gentle ambience of Nick's delicate songs, er honest.
[Note to Monstar / Keyghost boffins: Are Cellphone insulated headphones a possiblity? You could sell a pair to me anyway]
10:25 am Monday, July 29, 2002
Just a quick post as i've got to get one's arse onto the train to Geelong in half an hour....
Having a great time here in Melbourne, thanks in no small part to Emma, who's been driving me all over town to various groovy bits of Melbourne. It's a truly cosmopolitan type of place, and i think i could happily spend a bit of time here. Sadly my plane ticket says o have to leave on Friday at 7.15am (Nngah!) so i'm rushing round like an eejit. I'm heading down to Apollo bay on the Great Ocean road, to either (depending on the weather) do a two day Paragliding course (Good weather) or go mountain biking in the Otway National park (Bad weather).
The Great Ocean Road (In the summer)
As well as seeing plenty of Melbourne i've also seen two ace films this weekend (Melbourne is dripping with arty cinemas) - Ghost World and About a boy.
Whilst snowboarding at Mt Hutt with Greg a few weeks ago, we met his photographer mate, who i had an enjoyable photography geek chat with. He's put some pics of the day up here.
Sorry i've not had much time for emailing people lately, i'm getting round to it, honestly. But the Geelong train is going very soon, so i've got to leg it at high speed to Spencer street station. EVERYBODY PANIC!!!!!
4:31 am Friday, July 26, 2002
Well i'm still sat in the same internet bar only a day later. Had a quiet night in last night, with Emma and Phoebe, watching the Footy show in preparation for my trip to see my first Aussie Rules game this saturday, Hawthorn vs Brisbane.
I've spent the day looking round the venue for the game too, the MCG. The tram i was on going into town passed right by it, so i hopped off for a quick look round, and accidentally ended up on a tour of the stadium. As well as nosing round the various museums & halls of fame afterwards.
It's an impressive sight, although oddly doesn't look quite as big as you'd think for a ground that has a seated capacity of 97,000 (Cor). The tour was super-duper - we got onto the pitch, the commentators boxes, changing rooms and best of all, the little room all the England Cricket players get filmed in looking grumpy after having been got out during test matches. Foolishly i admitted being English, and the guide constantly reeled off anecdotes about how "We beat England by 45 runs in that year and oddly enough the same score 50 years later too", yadda yadda yadda. Not to mention loads of Bodyline stuff, "There's two side out there, and only one of them's playing Cricket!" - Oddly enough, a quote that could be applied to most of my own indoor cricket matches :o(
9:32 am Thursday, July 25, 2002
My whistlestop tour of Aussie continues apace. I've just arrived in Melbourne, and am currently located in a rather swish internet cafe/bar called E55, thanks for the recommendation Ted's Sister :oD
24 hours passes....
7:40 am Tuesday, July 23, 2002
G'day from Aussie cobbers!
Sorry for the tediously obvious intro, but i've made it to Australia, and they do actually say things like that. Honest.
My last few hours in NZ were super emotional, for a number of reasons.
(1) I was leaving a bunch of really dear friends
(2) I was typically unprepared, and finished my packing at 4am ish, approximately an hour before my flight left
(3) I drank a bucketload of white Russians that evening (Courtesy of Jo, thanks again!)
Although i didn't get to say all the things i wanted to to everyone, as it all went by in such a blur, it was possibly as entertaining a departure as you could imagine. I was driven to the airport (With 45mins-ish to departure) by the kingpin of the Christchurch music scene Matt "Westside" Westbrooke, in a small, rather knackered car, that really shouldn't have had Jo, Wee Al, Michael, Michelle my luggage and me in it as well. But despite a few worrying noises, it got us there, and then lots of running around the airport ensued. I didn't have the correct visa for Australia, so i had to cough up $20 for that, as well as my $25 departure tax. This irritated me, but it completely outraged Michelle (By far the drunkest of our party), who started complaining in a highly entertaining style at the innocent-ish airport gimps. In true Gonzo style, I insisted that she was my lawyer, and also mentioned that the NZ government owes me $100's in tax, but all to no avail, i had to pay up like everyone else.
Perhaps this was due to the scene we made, but on arrival in Sydney i was taken aside at customs, as my name was similar to someone they were 'after', luckily though i didn't fit the description, and they then let me go. Only to to have to totally unpack my bag at the baggage checks, because of a suspicious looking 'round thing' in it (A soap on a rope i got for Christmas from Alex's auntie's and Gran). My advice - don't cause a scene at airports - they'll get you back every time!
Thanks to Gill, Aimee and Tom, everything's gone about as well as it could have done in Sydney so far. I arrived at their flat in a rather dishevelled state after my flight / departure, and then slept the worst of it off.
Gill, Tom and I went out later on, and had a Royster-Doyster of an evening, due to Tom's inside knowledge of the coolest Sydney bars (The best one is above a British Legion / Retired Servicemans Club!) and a ROCKING gig at the Hoptoun Hotel, with one of my now favourite bands, The Lucksmiths. Despite having never heard of the band before, Gill took to the melodic, Melbourne combo in a big way, shouting at the guitarist during the gig (Requesting details of a future gig, not heckling!), as well as shamelessly chatting up the bass player after the gig ;o)
I'd write more about the next few days in the blue mountains, but being the globe trotting music fan that i am, i've got to shoot off to meet up with Tom, and then head to a Gomez gig - hurrah! Suffice to say, the Blue mountains are nice, but not as nice as NZ mountains :o(
(Worryingly i've noticed that most sentences i've said since leaving NZ start with the words, "In New Zealand ..... blah... blah". Hopefully i'll stop soon, but in the mean time feel free to slap me if this ever gets too irritating)
9:29 am Thursday, July 18, 2002
What am doing! I've not even packed, and i'm farting around here doing a page of photos mainly taken from my north island travels - IDIOT!
8:44 am
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!
10 hours left in NZ, and frankly i'm feeling quite weird. I've not packed, i've got loads of painful goodbyes still to do and i don't actually want to leave NZ :o(
On the bright side though, i've spoken to Gill, my contact in Aussie, and discovered that Aimee has very kindly said that i can stay in her flat in Sydney for a night. Which is going to make turning up in a new city & country a whole lot less stressful than it otherwise would have been. I've also got the Lucksmiths gig to look forward to tomorrow night too - woohoo!
There's loads of stuff i feel like saying at the minute, but time doesn't really allow for it. The last year has quite possibly been the best one of my life, and i'd like to send love, respect and hugs to everyone that i've met in NZ. (Even the ones that don't read this website!) Thanks for making my year such a total joy, from start to finish.
While i'm at it, love to everyone i know in the UK too! The fact that i'll get to see you lot again in 6 weeks is one of the few reasons i'm actually going to force myself to get on the plane tomorrow morning (At 5.50 am! - yuk).
Well, if anyones still reading this drivel, stay tuned for some Aussie based action in the near future, as Ted In NZ transforms into TED IN AUSSIE! Woohoo! (You can't wait can you? I can tell)
8:08 am Tuesday, July 16, 2002
Just a quick note to those of you that phone / send me text messages on my cellphone. I'm selling it before i leave NZ, so if you want to get in touch, you have until Thursday night NZ time.
It's new owner will be a Greek, Bass-player with a Rabbit obsession, so feel free to carry on texting my number, but just make sure that you don't say anything nasty about Watership Down, OK?
8:31 am Monday, July 15, 2002
Sorry for the usual lack of posts, but i've got a proper excuse this time, a bruised / cracked rib! A legacy of my snowboarding trip last weekend :o(
I thought it was just a mild bash - one of several i sustained. But as all my other injuries started to heal, my rib remained rather painful, especially when standing up, sitting down, laughing, sneezing, coughing and hiccupping. So a planned snowboarding trip to Mt. Cheeseman for my last weekend in NZ was sadly cancelled. Happily though it was replaced with a very enjoyable & chilled weekend instead, just what i need at the minute really, as my life is going to be going back on fast forward from Friday - when i hit the road once more.
I spent a large percentage of the weekend hanging out in Jo's rather flash new house (Bought for the NZ equivalent of a UK shed, in a bad area!), drinking, chatting, reminiscing about our NZ experiences and doing the odd bit of decorating. Saturday night was a quality knees up, starting, of course, by watching the All blacks playing Aussie in the sports bar. Happily they won, so there was much "dancing in the streets of Christchurch tonight!" action later on. We (Michael, Jo, Michelle and me) expressed our joy at the result by going for a slap up curry at Two Fat Indians instead. Followed by the traditional pool marathon till 4am in Cue Time. At the end of the night i finally experimented with a peculiar NZ obsession - the Poker Machine. They're like fruit machines at home, all pubs have lots of them, and Kiwi's seem happy to pour most of their earnings into them, for little or no return.
Perhaps it was due to our reduced mental state, but none of us had any idea how they worked, and so kept putting money in and pressing buttons till it made noises and money came out. Whether you won or not seemed to be down to the combination of animals that appeared on the cards popping up. Monkeys and peacocks seemed to work best for us, and luckily, they were plentiful, so for a $4 stake, we won a mighty $6!
Making me almost as happy as all the rugby fans still dancing in the streets as we ambled home.
9:46 am
NZ Nature Time
Hi! and welcome to my latest article on the nature of New Zealand. This time we're going to be looking at Possums, Cute Bunny Rabbits and Kahu Hawks.
Possum
Rabbit
Kahu Hawk
Possums, an species introduced to NZ, cause considerable environmental damage here, chewing their way through no end of irreplaceable Native Podocarp Forest, thereby ruining the habitats of numerous other species, and reducing biodiversity.
Excessive rabbit numbers have famously caused lots of damage in Australia, and also here in NZ to a lesser extent. But they're so cute aren't they?
Kahu Hawks are majestic creatures, soaring gracefully above the NZ landscape, they wander for hours on the wing, looking for carrion or other small birds to prey upon.
You may think that these three NZ animals have little in common, but depressingly they do. In the last week i've run over one of each of them - AAAAARGH! And as a peaceful vegetarian type, i'm rather pissed off about it :o( I may have saved hundreds of trees by running over the Possum, but i didn't feel that great about it. The rabbit darted out from nowhere on a dark night driving down to Te Anau, and neatly swerved under the drivers side front wheels. The Kahu hawk was busy munching another dead Possum by the side of the road, when, startled by my approach, swooped up into the air - directly into my passenger side headlight. Thunk.
I'd like to take this opportunity to officially apologise to all of their families. I'm sorry.
9:05 am Wednesday, July 10, 2002
Hiya! Just arrived back in the 'church after my mini-snowboarding holiday down south with Michael, Emma, Phoebe, Jo and Wee Al.
A good time was had by all. Everyone got loads better at skiing, and didn't fall over too much. Unfortunately for me, i was snowboarding. I got a bit better, and fell over lots. And lots. And lots.
Me, recently
I would write more now, but i've been driving for 11hours in the last two days (As well as lots more fun stuff), and so i'm a tad tired and peckish, so i'm going to head home, rustle up some pleasant looking vegetables, then curl up with the brilliant book i'm currently reading 'Barrow's Boys', by Fergus Fleming. A rip roaring account of English explorers in the early 19th century exploring the coldest, hottest and most dangerous parts of the planet. Their discoveries, and more often their grisly deaths at the hands of dengue fever, scurvy or irate Tuareg tribesmen.
7:44 am Thursday, July 04, 2002
Oh, just remembered something that happened tonight, might not be worth mentioning......
And before any questions are asked about the victory....
YES - It was a against a full team of able bodied, adult, men, who have played cricket previously on a number of occasions.
NO - We did not have sand in our pockets, or take any performance enhancing drugs before the game.
YES - It was despite me. I had my worst knock for weeks, a sub-duck of -6
NO - I wasn't completely useless! I took a rather flash one handed catch.
As it was the last game of the season - against the only other team that had failed to win all year, we've avoided the wooden spoon too! Hurrah!
1:11 pm
Sorry for my webslackness lately. I have actually been doing some fairly fun stuff recently, but just haven't got around to yakking on about it yet. Mainly due to working long hours getting my software finished off before i leave the country, combined with laziness.
The best thing i've done recently has been snowboarding. Although at times during my first lesson at Mount Hutt i must admit i absolutely hated it, and became utterly frustrated. I was doing exactly what the instructor was saying, but would my blasted snowboard behave? No. Did i continually spin around completely out of control? Yes.
Happily though, after a couple of painful hours, i finally managed to control the fupping thing, and string together a series of controlled turns, hurrah!
As well as Snowboarding being fun, the whole day was made even more exciting by the highly entertaining driving of Greg "Snake" Chalmers. Toyota Starlets probably aren't designed for rally style driving, but Greg seems to get the most out of his. On the way to the car park, 1600m up the mountain, we overtook numerous other cars, including 4wd's, and did we bother with snow chains? Pah! Was i shitting myself? Mais oui!
Mount Hutt Access road
Driving back down was even more extreme, as we were running out of petrol, so had to turn off the engine at every possible opportunity, leading to a major decrease in the effectiveness of the brakes. Slightly alarming when hurtling down towards a hairpin with a couple of 100m drop on the edge of it. Once again we made short work of the girly 4WD's on our descent, but when a slight misjudgement trying to overtake a bus caused us to do a 180 spin, most of them re-overtook us. No doubt making them feel happier again about having splashed out thousands of bucks on their Range Rovers. Ho hum. All rather stupid i know, but along with the full on Trance tunes * that Greg insisted on playing whilst driving up the mountain, actually quite a lot of fun.
* While driving Greg has Mountain music (Trance, Hi-tempo Hip Hop) and plains music (Ambient, Prog etc). Good to see some thought being put into driving choons.
I also had a Paintballing session with "the lads" from work at the weekend. War is hell - I have the bruises to prove it.
Michael, Emma, Phoebe, Jo, Al and I are all off for a long weekend in Queenstown tomorrow. Obviously including plenty of snow related activites, at the Cardrona skifield. Recommended to me as "ideal for spazzes" by my own snowboard ninja sister.
It's my last weekend but one in NZ, and my last big road trip in NZ. Driving around, checking out the amazing scenery (Whilst trying not to plough into oncoming vehicles)has been one of my favourite things here. And my favourite drive by far, is from Christchurch down to Queenstown, via Lakes Tekapo & Pukaki and Mount Cook. If you need a second opinion, just ask Sanjay, he'll vouch for it's gorgeousness. I'm looking forward to it even more than usual now, as i got a stack of new CD's out from Christchurch library today (Throwing Muses, DJ Krush, Divine Comedy, Flaming Lips and, er, Groove Armada) Let's ROLL!!
10:46 am Tuesday, June 25, 2002
Ever get the feeling you're being watched?
Well in NZ - we are! 'The Man' has set up a series of webcams attached to small birds, fitted with aerials, which then send back data to the Central Control Bunker in Auckland. Don't believe me? Well click here, enter an address, and spy on the hapless proles below.
I'm at 146 (almost), High Street, Christchurch, and look something like this
9:54 am Monday, June 24, 2002
Woo! Back in one piece from a "days" Skiing (Sorry no 'Boarding Alison) at Mount Hutt.
I say a day, but due to the fickleness of the weather and the driver's side window on the mighty Toyota Corona, i only managed 20 minutes of skiing :o( Before setting off the car window got stuck in the 'down' position, and so the best part of an hour was spent dismantling the door, wiggling it around and working out how to put it all back together again once we'd finished.
Once we'd finally got there, we had to decide what method of snow-based propulsion to use. Went for skiing, as there wasn't time to have a lesson, and i had extensive previous experience in this discipline - a one week school trip to France 12 years ago, as opposed to a 2hour lesson in Swadlincote 2 years ago for snow boarding. Once this had been decided, and the relevant pieces of equipment strapped to the relevant body parts - we were off! I started with a mini slide about a minutes walk from the main 'lodge' thing, and was instantly reminded what a great laugh sliding around on snow is :oD I then ventured a little further and further up the nursery slope (With Michael regularly swooshing past me), and enjoyed each run more an more, probably never getting much faster than 10 mph, but happily i can still snowplough with the best of them (the nearby Playschool aged children anyway), hurrah!
However this was soon stopped by the spoilsport wardens, who decided that the gale force winds lashing snow into everyones faces, was somehow 'dangerous', and closed down the slopes, as well as the access road for a while too! So while i only got a few go's, the good news was that it was completely free, as we were refunded due to not managing an hour on the slopes. This brief go has whet my appetite for more snowy action though, so Michael (& entourage & maybe Jo & Wee Al) and I are off to Wanaka & Cardrona, in a week or so, for another bout of alpinism.
Comparing NZ skiing to my vague memories of European skiing, the main difference was actually getting to the ski fields. In France you can catch a cable car from the town centre, all the way to the top of the mountain. There's no such wussiness in NZ however, in typical no-nonsense ( / supid?) Kiwi style you drive up the mountain to the pistes. Snow chains were definitely required, as we drove up the rather preciptous road to 1600 metres! (That's 200m higher than Ben Nevis for non-mountain geeks). Seeing a packed car park, near the top of a 2000m mountain is a truly odd sight. Greg "Snake" Chalmers informed me today though, that the Mount Hutt road is about the best ski road around, and that if you found that worrying you're a big, girly, wuss (So i didn't mention to him that we caught the bus up to the top) :os
Note: Looking at this post, you may be thinking (a) I'm a bad loser, and (b) i have too much spare time. Guilty as charged on both counts. But in my defence i have to say (1) i feel a lot better now i've made my stand against the Rivaldo's of the world, and (2) i'm going snowboarding tomorrow. Are Rivaldo, or Ronaldinho? I think not. Ha! :op
8:28 am Friday, June 21, 2002
Have been taking advantage of the NZ tradition of drinking booze in the office on a Friday afternoon, to prepare for, in my opinion, the biggest football match of the 21st century.
Am heading down to Madison's pub to watch the game, and then going for a birthday (+ celebratory, hopefully) curry with Michael.
COME
ON ENGLAND!!!!
6:37 am Monday, June 17, 2002
The Indoor Cricket travesties continue. We had a game on Sunday night against a team whose members included a woman, and a child.
Did we still lose? Mais oui!
Attempting to look on the bright side, Michael and I had the biggest partnership for our team! (40) And i even contributed a positive amount to it!! (15). Sadly my bowling was as hapless as ever, and played a key part in narrowly averting a possible victory in the last over.
With any luck i'll be experimenting with another new sport next week - skiiing / snowboarding! Not decided which to try yet - is the potential for injury significantly better in one or the other?
It's been snowing it's arse off all over the mountains for the last few days, so snow levels aren't an issue. Fellow novices Jo & Michael will hopefully be accompanying me to Mount Hutt next Tuesday (There'll be less people to point and laugh at us on a weekday), as well as the higly experienced Wee Al - he's skiied in his native Scotland(tee + hee :op), and claims he can do parallel turns. Hence he'll be forced to give out free lessons to us all day.
Dear Mr / Mrs Whoever,
It's the year 2002. "Double glazing" and "Central heating" technology is widely available, and has been proven to work quite nicely.
It helps remove the need to sit on your sofa shivering, in 10 layers of clothing and a sleeping bag, in front of a crappy fan heater while trying to concetrate on critical world cup games.
Why not try it - I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!
Yours Faithfully,
a rather nippy English-Vegetarian-Soccer-Wuss
5:40 am
I may be getting influenced by the Rugby types in the bars where i've been watching the World Cup, but doesn't there seem to be more & worse diving going on than ever before? Rather than watching out for pieces of "Liquid football" i find myself analysing every tackle for signs of diving.
In particular the South Korea Vs Portugal game last night. That second sending off was awful! Then, down to 9 men, Portugal attempted to get back into the game, not by using their silky skills, no, but by attempting to out-dive the South Koreans, Fernando Couto making an especially lame, defenders effort at one.
Having said all this, if England get through with any kind of dodginess, i may delete this post! Though i contest Roberto Martinez's opinion that Owen dived to get our penalty versus the Argies, it was a definite trip. Honest guv.
COME ON ENGLAND!!
5:38 am Friday, June 14, 2002
I thought i'd scored a mighty 15 runs at Indoor Cricket last night, but sadly it turned out that the scorer had got Michael and I mixed up, and it was me that had contributed -2 to our partnership of 13, not him. Still it felt like an improvement, as only a dodgy stumping (-5 runs) got me into negative figures (Hmm, i seem to be blaming other people a lot for my own Cricketing failures....). Bowling was also improved, only 1 wide in two overs, and I even managed to bowl one delivery that wasn't scored off!! Not getting any high velocity cricket balls in the face was a pleasant change too.
9:49 am Thursday, June 13, 2002
Life's been plodding along in a pleasant if not entirely exciting way lately.
Weekdays consist of :-
Wake up at 9:30am. Have breakfast while listening to the latest CD that Andy has lent me (This morning it was Grant Lee Phillips) or watching the Shortland Street rerun. Potter off to work at 11am. Do work till 6pm. Do emails / surf interweb / burn CD's till 8pm. Go and watch world cup in pub, or highlights at home. Nod off on sofa watching Bottom video rented from Alices.
Luckily weekends are a tad more exciting. Getting out and about up big snowy things - see below, and even doing a bit of jogging! I'd never really done any before, as in the past every time i tried to run my body (Knees and Cardio-vascular system in particular) let me know that it was extremely unhappy about all this high speed bounding around. But last weekend I managed to keep going (Albeit at almost walking pace) for a whole hour, the only worries being slight feelings of nausea, and occasional bouts of stitch.
This weekend brings Jo's house-warming 'do', and hopefully another spot of wintery rambling. I would joing one of the local mountaineering clubs, so i could do a bit of proper wintery climbing, and learn how to use ice axes, crampons etc, but as i've only got another month or so left here *Sniff* it hardly seems worth it. Though i could put back my flights a little bit further perhaps.....
3:02 am Sunday, June 09, 2002
Beard-Crime-Watch
Offender 1 - Who the hell does this cowboy think he is?!? Some kind of Beta band member? Personally i just think he's taking the piss out my favourite Folk music combo, Mulligan & O'Hare
Offender 2 - I can't believe anyone would dare to carry out such an audacious Beard Crime in this day and age? It reminds me of my own father's beard crimes, circa 1970. And people like this still wonder why their girlfriends are about to head off to the other side of the world? Tssk!
Speak the language of Beard-Crime
These beard fiends are everywhere now, if you should happen to meet one on your travels, simply find out which country you are in, then select the correct phrase from the list below:
French:
"vous avez une barbe stupide"
Spanish
"usted tiene una barba estúpida"
German
"Sie haben einen dummen Bart"
Italian
"avete una barba stupid"
Portuguese
"você tem um beard stupid"
8:45 am Thursday, June 06, 2002
The Industrial strength Lemsips that Mum & Dad left me have finally done the trick (Thanks!) , and i'm feeling back to my normal perkiness levels, hurrah!
I even managed to post the first of several letters i needed to get sent off today. And now thanks to a nice new set of motherboard drivers my computer can once again deal with abusrdly huge tiff files without randomly resetting itself, as well as playing highly groovy downbeat trip hop compilation cd's that i've borrowed from Hamish "Donker" Chalmers. I would have done a new photo section, but going to watch Denmark Vs Uruguay at the Sports bar is a far more appealing option.
I will leave you with a couple of pics from my Sunday afternoon ramble with Jo & Michael.
Jo and Michael fearlessly traversing a dangerously unstable cornice
I live less than an hours drive from here :o)
8:28 am Wednesday, June 05, 2002
Oh, 2 other football points.
Rivaldo is the world's premier tosspot, and should be put up against a wall and shot rather than fined 5 grand!. (Also noticed his glitzy website has a link to a crappy free web stats thing. Wanker! - Note i'd never have anything like that on my site, oh no)
The new Lestar kit's a bit odd - Black and Blue! Are we styling ourselves as the bad-asses of the 1st division or someting?
10:38 am
Ever had one of those weeks where you have loads of stuff you need to get done, but despite your "best efforts" time just drizzles on by, and absolutely nothing is achieved? This has been my week, except buying some extremely cheap socks, and falling asleep in front of world cup highlights repeatedly.
Having a lurgy and working till late probably hasn't helped either. I attempted brighten up the site tonight, but after scanning dozens of photos i've discovered that this PC doesn't have the clout to open up the huge tif's that i saved them as, without crashing horribly.
I had a great weekend by the though, climbing a very snowy 'Foggy peak' with Jo & Michael, which gave me a distinct "I don't want to leave NZ in a months time" feeling. After getting back to town I made the mistake of watching the England game with 2 Scots, an Australian and a pub full of Irish people, all doing their best to wind me up. But several beers and a good 1st half performance had me telling anyone that would listen that Emile Heskey was from Leicester, and the shirt that i was wearing was a Leicester city shirt, so there. 2nd half was a bit crap though.
I would write more now, but i'm being pestered by Jacob "The Boy" Cat Biscuits. Who is insisting that i do an "inner child" test, playing Eric Satie MP3s and showing me scary things for sale on Ebay, so writing anything that makes much sense is virtually impossible. I'll just go home, and fall asleep infront of World Cup highlights, again.
10:18 am Friday, May 31, 2002
Sorry if you've texted me lately and i've not responded, i'm utterly skint, and so can't afford to buy a top up card for my cellphone.
So purely as a cost cutting measure, i'll be curling up on the sofa to watch as much of the World Cup as is freely broadcast in NZ (Not much). Or possibly nursing glasses of coke though matches at broad minded Christchurch sports bars (That aren't showing wall to wall replays of All-Blacks games, or other such Rugger Bollox)
Shame, as i'd fancy visiting Sammy's Jazz Review again. We discovered it last weekend, and although i tend to avoid noodley jazz bollox when possible, the place was great and even "Sidewinder" the house band and their roving Sax player we're pretty entertaining. The toilet door looks like something out of Star Trek too, so bonus points for that.
And there were no banks of TV's broadcasting the Rugby channel - HALLALOOJAH!
8:34 am
Annoyingly, my Indoor Cricket injury prophecy turned out to be correct.
Although surprisingly the person i should have been watching out for was one of my own team mates, rather than opposition fast bowlers. I was bowling, and went to back up for a run out attempt, Dean (I think his name was) launched a throw at the stumps. Directly on line, but about 3 feet too high - at the same height my mouth. The phrase you're looking for is "Ouch". Although i pronounced it "ARGLEFLRGHH" at the time. Happily no teeth had to be spat out, although yawning and chewing are a bit painful still.
It was much more fun than last time, as i didn't completely disgrace myself. I hit a '7' off the opposition's crappy bowler, and would have ended up with a positive score (I got -2) if a un sportsmanlike opposition bowler hadn't popped me out at the non-strikers end after running in to bowl. How low is that?? My bowling was also improved (Only 4 wides in three overs), however as my deliveries were within reach of the batsman, it meant they got spanked for a whole load more runs. I'll be working on bowling faster than 10mph next week.
Even fielding was fun & all action, with plenty of dives (Missed the ball usually, but they looked great i'm sure) and body checking of the runners - unintentional obviously.
8:14 am Thursday, May 30, 2002
It's been nice knowing you guys.
Just thought i'd put this on record, as i'm off to a grisly end tonight at the hands of some local amateur fast bowler. Unless by some miracle i manage to get the bat between me and the ball this time. (Something which i entirely failed to do last time i played indoor cricket)
7:16 am Thursday, May 23, 2002
Settling back into life in Christchurch. I've managed to get my old job back, so i'll be able to start buying loads of CD's again soon. Sorry, what did i say? I meant pay off my speeding ticket, of course.
Some old mates from the 'Church are coming back into town this weekend, Susie (Of Echobelly ligger fame) and 'Shel (Of illegal pub work in London fame). Should be nice.
Other than that all is quiet on the southern front. Oh I have been meaning to reccommend reading anything by Lester Bangs for a while. I'd been carrying 'Psychic Reactions and Carburetor dung' around for a few months before starting to read it the other week. Joy! I've never read anything quite as, 'dense' ? before. He tends to digress even more than Ronnie Corbett on speed, which actually turns out to be a good thing, honest. Although the bad point is that i now want to go and buy the records he's writing about, GRR! (Though maybe not James Taylor. And Starship.)
Oh, and I got 9 films(!) back from the Photography shop (How excited was i that morning! Oh, and they will be appearing on the credit card bill too Mum :oD Thanks again). They're mainly from my North Island travels - Nuff Volcanos inaddee area - and after i've sifted through & been arsed to scan them all, they'll be appearing here as per. Unless a major letter writing campaign is started urging me not to, or sanctions are threatened against NZ, or something :o(
8:38 am
Dropped off the world's only globe-trotting, dub-reggae and Wong Kar-Wai loving, school care-taking, barmy-army member at the airport today. Matt, who i went to the 1st Test match with, and who encouragingly ran off when the whole stand started singing Proclaimers' songs at me ("I didn't want to steal your limeight", he later claimed).
He was intending to stay in NZ for another 6 months, but has now realised that the streets of NZ aren't paved with gold, and so is off back to his cushy school caretakers job (In an 8 hour day he claimed his only duty was to unlock & lock a few doors, before settling back to watch whatever cricket is on TV).
8:08 am Monday, May 20, 2002
My new least favourite numbers are 114 and 80
Reason - I've just been fined $80 for being caught doing 114kph on State Highway 1, driving south to Christchurch last night :o(
Sadly i can't afford the fine at present, and so will be getting "sent dahn" for a "10 stretch", if readers of this website don't start sending me money pronto. Address all donations to the "Free Mark Edward campaign, Burberry Studios, Christchurch". (You may think that someone whose address includes "Burberry Studios" should be able to pay his own speeding tickets. But shut up, and send me cash OK?)
Also it was all Frank Black's fault. I was listening to a particularly ROCK song on "Cult of Ray" at the time, causing an involuntary "pedal to the metal" response. From now on it's Brian Eno all the way.
10:00 am
Am now back in the mighty 'Church, after a very enjoyable few days in Welly.
Spent Friday mooching around the town, with far too much time in internet caff's and record shops, listening to CD's and attempting to justify their purchase to myself, when there is no way on earth i can afford them.
[CD craving inner voice] - "Oh look, it's a Prince Far-I album! Don't see many of those about, you should buy it"
[Financially astute inner voice] - "Hmm, it's not even got that, 'If U love WAAAR, i feel sorry for YAAAAH!' track on it"
"It is only $10 though, and everyone loves Prince Far-I's gravelly throated 'toasting' and all"
"You. Have. No. Money. Twat"
"Oh, OK. But look! There's Harvest Moon, at a low, low price!!"
"AAARGH! That's it!" [Clanking noises eminate from my brain as sensible half attempts to teach the other half a lesson with a psychic golf club]
Once i'd finished torturing myself in record shops, i visited Te Papa, NZ's national museum. 3 very enjoyable hours were spent wandering around a small fraction of the things on display.
Amongst the things i learnt during this time are:
Tui's have two voice boxes to help produce their incredible songs
How surveyors use trig points on mountains to measure, stuff.(Too dull for website, mail me for an explanation)
What it feels like to be in an earthquake, thanks to Te Papa's earthquake simulator house - The floor jiggles slightly! What the hell's all the fuss about?
Stalagtites go up, Stalagmites go down
Captain Cook's cat is single handedly responsible for the extinction of several of NZ's species of flightless Wren
Saturday found me getting my arse into gear, and actually going to the Gear Homestead, where a lot of Bad taste was filmed! The lady who ran the place told me that it's now used for wedding receptions etc, a far cry from the days from when aliens used to drink their own vomit in the hallway - which i actually stood in! :oD I was so overcome by being there, i felt the need to phone Cat, one of the few people who would appreciate it (I don't know Richard Boddy's phone number!) he immediately promised to stick the video on. Though i wouldn't be too surprised if he just flopped back in a curry/booze induced stupor? after Boney's birthday Curry / Knees up.
The other locations i visited (e.g. the beaches where Barry shot the 1st Zombie alien's head off) were very nice, but were hard to recognise as the actual locations from the film though.
After a hard days Zombie Alien Stalking a man gets an appetite, so i decided to drop in on a friend of a friend's curry house. The friend being Shok at the Laguna Tandoori, and his mates being Champakbhai and Rakesh at the Great India, in Wellington city centre. They were both v. friendly, and asked about how the old place was doing, as well as Shok, Mr Mooney [sic?] and Lestar in general, and while i was waiting for my curry furnished me with a complimentary Kingfisher, niiice. Naturally i went for the Paneer speciality dish. It was good, but i have to say that the Paneer Shashlik starter at Laguna still retains the title of "World's best curried product"
(Could any visitors to Laguna in the near future please say "Hello!" to Shok, Imran, Mr Mooney et al, from Rakesh, his dad Champakbhai and me too. Cheers)
