A happy-go-lucky English rambler dude goes to New Zealand for a year. Here he interfaces with some of those he left behind and details his nefarious activities. Or summat.
 
Photo Galleries
Snow Shoeing, Andorra 2004New!
Cycling in the Peak District, August 2003
Various nice Canadian pics, August 2002
Cycling round Vancouver, August 2002
Scotland March 2003
Mount TaranakiTongariro Crossing
Heaphy track / Alex&Jo's visit
Mount Cloudsley / Enys
More Cricket
Mount Edward
Sanjays visit & The Cricket
Castle Hill Peak
Mum & Dad's visit
James' visit
Xmas / New Year
Lost on Wahi peak
Mount Cook trip
Random NZ Pics
 
Recently clicked on MP3s - 7th June 2005
The Lucksmiths - Warmer Corners
Jens Lekman - When i said i wanted to be your dog
The Trashcan Sinatras - Weightlifting
Teenage Fanclub - Man Made
Laura Veirs - Carbon Glacier
The Decemberists - Picaresque
The Eels - Blinking Lights


On-Line Chums
BoneyBoy
Jimmy the Saint
Super Pablo
Ted's Sister



Semi-Random Linkage
New Excelsior Hostel, Christchurch
Belle And Sebastian
Candle Records
The Lucksmiths
Flaming Lips
Birstall Running Club
Runners World
Work, Work, Work
www.singletrackworld.com
Life Cycle
The Kinkster
John Hegley
Bill Drummond
La Fromental (Excellent French B&B)
Richard Long. Artist.
Nifty Online Image Resizer
The Red Room
Hello Stick Cricket. Goodbye Productivity
Pictures on walls


Mountains recently bothered
Pico del Pedro (2715m)
The Cobbler (884m)
Kinder Scout (636m)
Grouse Mountain (1300m)
Mauna Kea (4207m)
Mount Taranaki (2518m)





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Ted In The O.Z.
 
Sunday, December 28, 2003  

As i've always been a bit of a Basketball fan, while i was in Boston recently i couldn't miss out on a trip to the Fleet Center, to see the Boston Celtics playing the New Jersey Nets. Although we don't get to see much NBA on TV in the UK at the moment, I knew that Jason Kidd, one of the best players in the world is currently on the Nets roster, and sure enough he ran rings around the poor old Celtics for most of the game.

After having watched Bristish Basketball, the NBA's poorer cousin, for years, as well as the NBA itself on TV whenever possible, it was wonderful to finally get to go to an actual NBA game, and despite being on row Z in the cavernous Fleet Center, the view was still surprisingly good, and even if you did miss anything, it would be replayed on the whopping jumbotron thing hanging over the court anyway.

When i got back from Boston, still full of enthusiasm for Basketball after my NBA experience, I thought i'd pop along to see my local Basketball team, the Leicester Riders, as i'd not seen them play for years, and wondered how the BBL experience would match up to the NBA one.

The British Basketball League struggles for venues, money, fans, and er, players a bit more than the NBA does - most players are Americans who couldn't make it into the NBA, the venues are often souped up college gyms and apart from the finals you'll rarely get more than a few hundred people down to the games, compared to the 40,000ish that were present in the Fleet Center. This shouldn't put you off however as the basketball is still of a pretty high quality, and can be every bit as exciting as the NBA, especially when the Leicester Riders were playing their (currently defunct) local rivals the Derby Storm, when things often got so exciting that the players felt the need to knock the crap out of each other during the games (Yes Hilroy Thomas and Rico (Freako) Alderson i'm talking about you).

Unsurprisingly, I took my camera to both of the games, and i now present to you my findings.....




Boston CelticsLeicester Riders
Action

As far as i know, the Celtics have been in a bit of a slump since the 80's, and things don't appear to be changing this year.

It was reasonably even for most of the game, Paul Pierce, the Celtics star player trading blows with Jason Kidd, the Nets key man, but you had the feeling that the Nets could finsih the game off whenever they fancied, and sure enough they did.

Despite the Celtics not being one of the top teams in the league the quality of play was incredible, intricate spin moves and dribbles were being executed at the drop of a hat, and there were dunks-a-plenty, "Boom-Shacka-Lacka" indeed.

The poor old Riders were doing even worse than the Celtics, and the game i went to see was game 27 in a horrendous 28 game losing streak, broken just the other day.

They kept it close for the first half, but as soon as the Chester Jets went into a decent lead, heads dropped, and the writing was on the wall. A late rally gave us a little bit of hope, but that was soon snuffed out by an unforced turnover with a minute to go.

There were some good players on the court, who showed flashes of quality, but there was a complete lack of dunks, alley-oops etc, and at no point was i tempted to shout, "Ramma-lamma-ding-dong" in an NBA Jam commentator style.

9/105/10
Technology

The Fleet Center was an awesome sight. From outside it looks like a multi storey aircraft hangar, and from inside it's like a Shopping Mall that exclusively sells Junk food, Beer and Baskeball merchandise. (Most of your fellow Basketball fans walk around with shoe box sized cardboard trays chock full of chips, piss weak beer and bits of chickens that look like they've seen better days)

We had to take about 6 flights of escalators to our seats (No pesky stairs for the yanks!) and so although we weren't as close to the action as we could have been we had the best view in the house of the highly impressive Jumbo Megatron thingy, pictured below.

This scoreboard may not look like much, but i can assure you that it's a huge improvement over the things the Riders used to have at Granby Halls. Not to mention the 'shot clocks' that used to break down at least twice during each game, usually causing controversy galore.

And to get to your seats at the Loughborough Uni gym, usually requires at most 6 steps, rather than 6 flights of steps.

The only other item of technology in use, more advanced than a digital watch, is the small HiFi used to play very old Will Smith tapes during time outs. I am happy to say it worked reliably throughout.

9/104/10
Halftime

Lucky the Leprechaun, the Celtics mascot had been prancing around the sides of the court for most of the 1st half, but really came into his own during half time.

Using a trampoline for slight assistance, he attempted to recreate some of the more spectacular dunks from NBA Jam, which believe me, are fairly spectacular. They all involve several somersaults, and Lucky had to have the padded mat put down so he didn't brain himself, or leave craters in the court, when he landed (though worryingly he actually missed it after one attempt.)

The picture below shows him mid dunk, passing the ball under his legs before slamming it home, to the delight of all present. In fact come to think of it, the crowd did seem more impressed by Lucky's half time antics than by most of the match itself.

However, during time outs he did an annoying mime routine, to attempt to whip the crowd out of it's stupour, and by tempting them with free, shoddy merchandise, so points have been deducted for that.

Well, there's certainly no Lucky at the Riders, but they attempt to make up for it in other ways.

Firstly, as a warm up, the world's youngest cheerleaders, do the world's shortest cheerleader routine.

Then, onto the main attraction - The Raffle! For a tin of Quality Street!! And a Cheap Bottle of Plonk!!! Get in!!!!

As i recall, Blue 85 won the star prize of the wine, and a very happy chap he was too.

Once that was over and done with, it was back to the Will Smith records, er, boom shake the room, and stuff.

1/1010/10
Total
19/3019/30

Accuse me of vote rigging if you will, but i'd say it's ended in an honourable draw between the two codes of Basketball. Which you'd prefer pretty much comes down to whether you'd want to watch the world's best basketball players from a high altitude seat, while eating a tray of Chicken & Chips, or alternatively, watching a bunch of not bad basketball players, from courtside, with the opportunity to win a bottle of Jacobs Creek at halftime thrown in too.



7:57 pm  


Monday, November 24, 2003  
OK, i admit it, i'm no longer in Boston.

Instead of drinking at Cheers, i now have to make do with "Lucid" on Braunstone gate. And instead of discussing post modern expressionism with Harvard students while sipping triple-choc-haf-caff-mocha-spresso-frappa-chinos, i now have to watch De Montfort Uni scum racing wheelie bins up down the road, while drinking Nescafe. Ho Hum.

The good news is that I have LOTS of new holiday pictures to share with you all - hurrah! Sadly though, work is keeping me as busy as a blue-arsed-fly that has deadline to meet this Friday, which if it misses, it will have a red hot poker put up it's blue arse. Which i'd imagine would turn it's arse a rather painful shade of dark purple?

Anyway, rather than dwelling on anal torture of busy insects, i'd like to share with you this rather lovely picture of an extremely lovely Chipmunk i managed to take whilst rambling up Mount Monadnock, in New Hampshire, with Mark the other week. There were Chipmunks all over the place during the walk, but when they came to having their pictures taken, were as slippery as a bunch of randy Eels that have had Extra Virgin Olive oil drizzled over them. So when this one posed for me like it did, and i managed to creep up to it, without my size 12 Scarpas scaring it off, i was rather surprised and pleased with the results - if only i nicked my Dad's decent digi cam for the trip....



Gary the Chipmunk, pictured relaxing recently

1:08 am  


Friday, November 07, 2003  
Woo! The Boston goodness continues, this time via the gift of ROCK.

Mark & I went to see the Eels last night, at the Paradise club. Although they are a band i've always liked, i probably wouldn't have bust a gut to go and see them if they were playing in the UK, but i now realise that is because i am a fool. I went along last night, because it was the best looking gig of the week in Boston (I've missed Belle & Sebastian and WWF Wrestlemania by a week - AAARGH!), not really expecting any miracles, but that was exactly what the gig was, from the moment the band bounded on in their red US prison boiler suits, and E came swanning on to stage half way through the first song via the middle of the crowd.

As E himself pointed out, they've played 77 cities in about as many days over the summer, and the band was so incredibly tight you could well believe it. Butch on drums was particularly impressive from our side balacony spot, not to mention wossisface the guitarist, Koool G Murder on bass & stuff - who looked like he'd been thrown out of ZZ Top for being too beardy and ROCKING too hard, and E himself, who threw a wonderful array of ROCK poses, pointing his guitar to the current section of the crowd he was wishing to convey the ROCK to at that moment.

A ROCKed up version of "I like birds" was a particular joy, and the needle went off the scale on the ROCKometer for "Souljacker" and "Dog face boy".

Happily it seemed the rest of the crowd, and the Eels themselves enjoyed the show as much as we did, and we were treated to no less than 4 (Count 'em) encores. During the third E pointed out, "What are we gonna go and do that'll be more fun than this? Go f**k groupies on the bus? Oh, well, er maybe later, but...you know". The fourth was almost like a private party, as not unreasonably, half the crowd had gone home after the lights came up, and an ear splittingly high pitched version of the Star Spangled banner had been played, but just as i was pondering which t shirt to buy, out they came for just one more go, and finished off with a wonderful version of "Tiger Man", before E suddenly leapt onto the back of a waiting helper in the crowd and disappeared the same way he came in.

Even that wasn't quite the end, as the guitarist leapt onto drums, giving Butch the drummer a chance to show off his Mad breakdancing skillz, whilst Koool G made suitable squeaking and buzzing noises by wiggling the jack around in one of the amps.

Wow - What a show! I can happily say i am proud to have the same initials as E, and am even happier just to have been in the same room as someone as cool as Koool G Murder clearly is.

Joy.


6:37 pm  


Thursday, November 06, 2003  
"Hi! How ya doin today? Can i help you find anything?". Yes i've been spending too much time in American shops - and now cannot get the shop assistant's Mantra out of my head.

Had a great day yesterday, buying all sorts of silly gubbins on the wonderful Newbury Street, probably the origin for my favourite Boston shop, Newbury Comics, as well as visiting some lovely art galleries like the Isabella Gardner Stewart Museum, where the sometimes dull art is overshadowed by the loveliness of the building itself.

I've also joined the squillions of runners in Boston, and did a brisk half hour lap around two bridges, and along the Charles river & MIT, which was an absolute joy, and has made me feel infinitely better about all the Chimichanga Burritos, Stawberry Dreamsicles, Cherry Pie and Ben & Jerry's Missisippi Mud pie ice cream i wolfed down yesterday. MMMmmmm......burp.

Oh, and i appear to have killed my mobile phone by charging it up on funny foreign voltages, so don't bother texting me or anything like that, until i get it sorted or a new phone :o( Though come to think of it, i've managed quite nicely without the bloody thing this week, so i might just leave it broken.... (Oh, who am i kidding)

8:57 pm  


Wednesday, November 05, 2003  
Humph.

Annoyingly, like everywhere else, life in America isn't all good. Here are some of the crapper things that can happen over here:

Have Hangovers.

Get lost.

Wander aimlessly round dull areas with hurting feet.

Wait for ages for a T Train on the wrong platform.

Fail to find Art galleries you're after.

Find out that the lane you booked at the super swanky, neon bowl-a-rama "Kings" has been given to someone else.


But fear not, good things still happen too, instead of bowling, Mark and I went to shoot some pool at the extremely stylish, "Flat Top Johnny's", and i did manage to get to the top of the Prudential Center (On the left of this pic) to have look at all the lovely, twinkly lights below.

In other news, research (looking out of Mark's window) has shown that in the eternal battle between Squirrels and Cats, it is the Squirrels that are faster, and that Cats will get fed up of trying to chase three of them very quickly. Now here's Bob with the weather....

3:46 pm  


Tuesday, November 04, 2003  
I don't plan to only ever update my blog from exotic places, it just seems to be working out like that at the minute.

My current location is the Library of MIT, in Boston, Masschusetts, and you can feel the cleverness oozing out of the walls, as well as from the fact that everyone else on the computers here is looking at college related stuff, rather than reading reports on Leicester City beating Blackburn 2-0 the other day.

Hence, i probably shouldn't lurk around too long, occupying valuable resources that could be put to better use, but for now i'll leave you with a Gates style list of the good things about Boston & The USA so far:

Trees & Leaves - Apparently i've missed the best of the Fall here, but what's left is still pretty incredible, and fear not, my digital camera is bursting at the seams with pictures of it all.

Drinking Pumpkin Beer with a old friend.

High speed, free style, rambling on Mount Monadnock.

Chipmunks posing for pictures on branches.

Doing my own renditions of Andy Goldsworthy Leaf art.

Root Beer.

Cookies and Cream flavour Power bars.

Smuckers Jam on Bagels.

Drinking Hoegaarden with an old friend.

Poncing round Harvard, pretending that i'm not actually DMU scum.

Giving English change to a Homeless guy, and getting into a chat about the Queen and the relative merits of the US vs the UK

Drinking Corona with and old friend.

Buying the new Strokes album for about 6 quid, get in!

Right, must go, am off to do this, blimey charlie.

8:01 pm  


Wednesday, September 17, 2003  
Bonjour mon petit Bageuttes!

Oui, je suis dans Francais, Le ville de Bourg D'Oisans exactement.

Je suis sur un vacance de velo, et un peu fatigue au jourduis. J'ascende L'Alpe D'Huez le jour avant hier! Dans un temps pas tres vite - Une heure et quarante minute, pas tres bon :o( Mais je voudrais faire un autre ascent avec plus vitesse plus tard dans le semaine. Hier j'ai ete ascend le col de la Croix de Fer, un ascent tres, tres difficile, je suis pres de la morte a la summete!

Au jourduis, je faire de randonnee au pied, pres de la summete de l'alpe d'huez, pour un vacance de la velo, mon derriere est tres mal!

OK, mon temps sur l'ordinateur est pres fini, j'allez! A bientot, et bon chance mes amis :o)

PS Mon Francais est merde encore, mais merci pour la libre Craig!

12:38 pm  


Wednesday, September 03, 2003  
Oh yeah, i've got a website haven't I?

Er, what do you do with these things again? I seem to have forgotten....

Yes, that's it, you bore people with your photographs don't you!


Sulphur Mountain, Banff

To celebrate the fact that i've now been back from my travels for a year(!) I've got round to putting up what will probably be the last set of pics from the few weeks i spent in Canada. Clicky picky, or here to see the rest.


I've also done a few pics from a recent Tour de Peak District i did with the Dave-meister from work, a fellow lycra freak / road cyclist, depending on your point of view...


Dave and I, summit of Mam Tor


12:12 am  


Wednesday, July 16, 2003  
To celebrate fixing the scanner, i thought i'd share my new most prized possession with the world....A signed Kinky Friedman album!



To the Tedster, from the Kinkster! Oooh!!


I went to see my favourite author at 'The Musician' pub a few weeks ago. An author at a pub? Well, if you didn't already know, the Kinkster is an ex-Country and Western singer, who now writes hilarious crime stories set in New York. Oddly enough, based on a character called Kinky Friedman, who is an ex-Country and Western singer. Well, could you think of a better character to base some stories on?!

He did a brief and very entertaining reading from his new book, as well as knocking out a few of his classic songs, such as the feminist anthem, "Get your biscuits in the oven, and your buns in the bed", with his backing band of Little Jewford and Washington Ratso. As with the other gig i went to at the Musician, the crowd seemed a bit quiet (overawed?) at times, and so the atmosphere did get a little awkward for a short while, until the Kinkster's wit won everyone over and sent the crowd home a lot happier than when they arrived.

After the gig, I managed to pluck up the courage to join the queue to have a chat with the man himself. He signed my cd for me, and I blurbled some stuff about his books having picked me up at times when i was really down in the dumps, to which he graciously, and only slightly sarcastically, replied that his life's work had not been in vain. Wow! - I've had the mickey taken out of me - by the Kinkster!!! (As he would say himself, his books have also been, "A financial pleasure for the Kinkster" too)



The Kinkster in his heyday (Not so long ago)





12:32 am  


Wednesday, July 02, 2003  
Nngah! Must. Post. To. Website. More. Often.

Especially as it's mainly been good news lately.

First off, my botty is almost back to optimum performance after it's recent surgery. It's been a long, and frankly un-enjoyable journey back to health, but i'm finally free from the tyranny of ingrowing bottom hairs and i'm now finally able to focus on doing fun things in life again.

As i've not been able to take part in activities that involve too much ass wiggling lately, i've taken the opportunity to catch up on a bit of culture, and surprisingly there's been quite a bit of it about in Leicester lately. In the last few weeks i've been to no less than three gigs, and have got three more lined up in the very near future.

John Hegley played (and recited) at the Phoenix Arts a couple of weeks ago, and was very enjoyable too. If you've not heard of him, he's a poet from Luton, wears glasses and likes Dogs, and who writes excellent poetry about all three of those things. His poems ranged between the serious, the surreal, the sad and the hilarious - all the more so when he got the audience involved (At one point all the glasses wearers in the audience tapped their glasses simultaeneously in a "show of power", aimed at those present with good eyesight).

It was one of the first times i'd left the house after my convalescence, so i particularly enjoyed it, and instantly felt inspired to write some poetry of my own, and happily for you lot, i've decided not include it here. However, here is an excellent John Hegley poem from the book i bought (and got signed!) on the night.

Pancake Man

He's Shrove Tuesday's number one fan.
All those minds
simultaneously mixed up in the flour and batter
making the matter more powerful:
he believes that a
shared experience is greater than
the sum of its ingredients.
The world is his frying pan
and he's a bit of a tosser.


I really enjoy reading his poems, but having heard him reciting them in his abrupt, deadpan style, (and singing them too, whilst playing his Mandolin) you seem to get a better idea of how they "flow". This page on his website has got an mp3 of him reading out quite a cool little poem, based around a sub standard dog.

I would write more about the other two gigs, but it's late and one of them was so life shatteringly important, that i wouldn't be able to do it justice now.

I suppose i could tell you about the other one though. I went to see 'The Thrills' at the Charlotte. They rocked. They had a roadie that looked like a "Pikey" from 'Snatch'. It was hot. They played 'Big Sur' and 'One horse town'. The crowd were suitably pleased by this. The Charlotte is still a crap venue.

12:52 am  


Sunday, June 15, 2003  
I saw something happen yesterday, that has probably never happened before, nor ever will again.

A Welshman threw a tennis ball ten metres across a pub beer garden, and it landed straight into a fat Englishman's half drunk pint of lager.

The fat man then drank the rest of the beer in one go, yellow fluffy bits and all, and then put the pint glass upside down on his head, to cheers from all present.

Maybe if we all try hard enough, it will happen again one day. You can but hope....


8:36 pm  


Wednesday, June 04, 2003  
Thought you might be interested in a bit of Photography / Photoshoppery i did tonight to help Rob sell his Motorbike suit on Ebay.

I think the addition of Prince Phillip adds a certain amount of class, but i'm not sure if that will really appeal to the greaser demographic we're aiming at with the suit. I suppose i should have put James Hetfield on it, but i refused to compromise my artistic, er, thingumy.

I was quite pleased with the boots in the tree concept too.

Hi, i'm Prince Phillip, and i was wondering if you'd be interested in buying my slightly worn motorcycle outfit?
Rocket Ron Windsor

9:31 pm  


 


"your bottom will wish it had never been born!" - The Baby Eating Bishop of Bath & Wells, Blackadder II


Humph.

I wasn't entirely sure whether this subject would really be suitable for public consumption, but as almost everyone i know, is already aware of my recent bottom surgery i suppose it's safe to mention it. Although it's not something which greatly inspires me to sit down and write, or for that matter, greatly inspires me to sit down at all.

In case you didn't know, i've recently had the good fortune to develop a Pilonidal Sinus, "What's a Pilonidal Sinus?" i hear you cry. Basically it's an ingrowing hair in your arse crack. Oh joy. This wouldn't really have been much of a problem if it didn't mean that i needed to have general surgery to chop it out, and then spend the next two weeks stuck at home, shuffling around like a complete mong. Followed by three more weeks of not being able to do anything more strenuous than sitting on a very large cushion, typing out stuff on a computer (The stage which i started 10 minutes ago).

Depending on how much else you'd like to know about the wonderful world of ingrowing arse hairs you can check out the following websites:

In the 'non revolting' category, this site is a general guide to the whole condition & treatments, and this is Addenbrooke hospital's, "Hey, it's all going to be OK!" guide to the surgery that i've had.

For those amongst you with a taste for the macabre (i.e. Cat), you might like these more in depth sites. This surgeon's site features a close up of a bung hole, as well as what i presume is the gunk they chop out of you. This Lunatic takes the biscuit however - he's taken pictures of his arse every week during his 14 week recovery period, and felt the need to share them with the rest of the world, so that we might have something to look at whilst eating our jam sandwiches.

Happily my surgery was the "Primary closure" type (Stitches) so theoretically i should be well on the road to recovery by now, but it seems that my arse isn't going along with this theory just yet (I'll spare you the details). However well it all goes from here though, it's going to be at least another 2-3 weeks before i can run again, and 3-4 before i can ride a bike. Which, combined with my previously gammy leg, means i won't have been able to run for at least two months! I dread to think of the shape i'll be in when i dust off my trainers in a few weeks....

Despite going through some fairly low points during the whole process, and the fact i've still got weeks of awkwardness left, i'm currently feeling pretty positive in myself. In part thanks to repeated viewings of my ever excellent Fellowship of the Ring DVD ( - Please send all puns to paininthearse@markedward.co.uk), i've now ploughed through both the Director's and Actor's commentaries too! (Highly appropriately i watched Rear Window this afternoon too - Oh the irony).

But my current positivity is mainly down to a lot of TLC and patience from Mum and Dad, well Mum anyway, and a few much appreciated visits from mates including Pablo, Andy, Boney, Alessia, Rob, Katherine, Chris, Cat and Claire. Even Alison' s popped in to see me occasionally too... Muchos Gracias to all.




12:43 am  


Monday, May 26, 2003  

I love it when the Beeb repeats This Life.....

Shut it Miles you pig! And get me another G&T!

12:02 am  


Thursday, May 08, 2003  
Hey, life's not all bad!

I'm still off running, but hopefully Friday's club run will be my long awaited comeback into the world of semi-amateur jogging, as my upper leg / arse region has been feeling staedily better all week.

To stop my legs wasting away completely, and to get ready for a sponsored bike ride i'm doing soon, i've started cycling to work this week. It's only a few miles, but there are plenty of 'satisying' hills to get stuck into on the way, and the sense of complete smugness gained from zooming up the inside of huge traffic jams really is quite incredible!

Not to mention the time saved, as, due to all the jams, it's actually quicker to cycle the 6 miles-ish to work, than it is to drive or get the bus! Doesn't seem quite right for Lestar, the UK's "Environment City", does it? (Though as i was one of the shmucks sat on his own, in a car, in the traffic jams last week, i can't start preaching just yet)

Ah, and especially as my other reason to be happy involves gratuitous use of a 2 litre combustion engine... Bank holiday Monday was spent cruising around the sunny Leicestershire countryside in a classic 1972 *COUGH*fortaxpurposes*cough* Citroen DS, courtesy of Leicester's premier Citroen officiando, Mikey.

The big, green, curvy beauty turned heads everywhere we went, even despite the fact we had neglected to wear the traditional black polo necks, and chain smoke Gauloise. Ahh... Merci Mikey!


Ce Soir Matheiu, Je suis Charles Aznavour!


1:17 am  


Saturday, May 03, 2003  
Being injured sucks SO badly.

Unfortunately my 'arse strain' from the other week has turned out rather worse than i'd hoped. I thought it had cleared up completely, and last Sunday i headed out for my weekly 10 miler, out to 'Old John' and back, but after 4 or 5 miles the horrendous shooting pains up and down the back of my thigh seemed to indicate that the injury was back with a vengance.

Almost a week later, i'm still getting them whilst walking around, although much less frequently. Which I suppose indicates it's getting better, but having missed alost two weeks of training, with only a week left till the half marathon, i won't be doing it at all, let alone going for a good time, as i was hoping for. FUCKNUTS!

Before getting into doing sporty stuff, i always failed to empathise with injured sportspeople. What were they moaning about? Surely being injured meant they could put their feet up and catch up on all the telly they'd normally miss? What's the problem with that? But now being in that position myself has made me realise just how freustrating it actually is. This race has (rather sadly) been the main focus of the last two months of my life, and i've put in loads of hard work getting ready for it, and now with two weeks to go, it's all gone up in a puff of smoke. BASTARD!

I know there'll be other races, and that not all of my fitness will disappear while i'm sitting around watching DVD's for the next few weeks, but i can't tell you how much of a sickener it is to have all of your plans and hard work taken away from you, just when they were all about to come together.

I know it's not exactly Paula Radcliffe spraining an ankle of the start line of the London Marathon, so i'm trying to look on the bright side. For instance, i've borrowed some quality films to watch, like the arty Swedish, and Spanish por..., *ahem* arthouse films Show Me Love, Together and Jamon Jamon, courtesy of Boney Boy and Roberto.

I'm not sure what my injury actually is, but this excellent description of Piriformis Syndrome seems to match my symptoms pretty well (Pain in the arse), as well as it's causes (Running downhill, too fast, with a long stride - Guilty as charged).

Ok then, i'll be off to watch Penélope Cruz in action then, and do some stretching. (And no Boney that isn't a euphamism. Probably)

7:00 pm  


Saturday, April 26, 2003  
Apart from a recent strain of my arse muscle ('Gluteus Maximus' apparently) my running's been going fairly well lately, and i'm looking forward to my next Half Marathon as much as you can look forward to doing something that invlolves a lot of pain and hard work.

My main target is to beat the time i set in my first half marathon in March (1hr 56m), though as it is a proper 'league' race, my other key motivation is to not be last like i was in my first proper league race, the 'Stilton 7'. To my credit i was actually 156th out of 176 runners, but i was indeed last in my category (The 'Men under 60 with two legs and not suffering from severe Elephantitis' category).

I also learnt two important lessons during my first dabble in the world of competitive running.
1) There's 10 minutes of paperwork to do before the race, so turn up more than 10 minutes before the off - My warm up consisted of a panicky sprint straight to the start line.

2) Don't try and keep up with the 'Flash Harrys' during the begining stages of the race. Which i rather stupidly did, despite warnings of imminent death from my Heart rate monitor. This lead to me 'blowing up' in rather spectacular fashion after two miles, and then being overtaken by most of field during the next 5miles - somewhat demoralising.

The Hinckley Half Marathon sounds like it's set in fairly pleasant surroundings, and involves a lap around Bosworth water (Though i stopped noticing my surroundings after 10 minutes of my last Half-Marathon). So if anyone fancies coming along to support my 'Don't come last' campaign, i'm sure a good day will be had by all. Especially if you're not doing the actual race :os

5:45 pm  


Wednesday, April 23, 2003  
Oh, how did it get this late?

I wanted to write an essay about why Wayne Coyne should be appointed head of the UN, take charge all world affairs immediately and be allowed access to whatever experimental musical equipment and / or fluffy bunny suits he requires to create and maintain world peace, but sadly all i've had time to do is put together a page of scanned photos from my cycle tour round Vancouver last year.

Judging from current rate of progress on the site, the ETA for the Wayne Coyne thing should be sometime in the Spring of 2005.

Me and a big, red chopper

Pah! Who needs all that Harley Davidson crap when you've got a set of Panniers like mine?

1:33 am  


Tuesday, April 08, 2003  
I'm starting to worry that i may be a bad influence on my Mother.

Despite being naturally repulsed at first by programs like Jackass and Dirty Sanchez, she's gradually grown to enjoy them to almost worrying levels. In fact she complained to me today that Jackass these days seems a bit tame in comparison to the antics of Pritchard and Dainton.

Her MTV culture crossover has even gone as far as watching Nirvana unplugged the other night (It was on after a Jackass double bill). She enjoyed that immensely too, and was suitably disappointed when i had to tell her that the singer killed himself several years ago.

Is this normal behaviour for a 56 year old woman?



Dainton, about to do himself a mischief



12:51 am  


Monday, April 07, 2003  
Just a quick note to let you know i'm still hanging around, and that the site hasn't popped it's clogs just yet.

It's a shame i've not found the time to post anything lately, as i have been doing lots of quite interesting stuff. Hence the lack of motivation to hang around in front of a PC i suppose.

Anyway, here's a link to a page of pics i've knocked up from a recent jaunt up to Glasgow, where i naturally managed to fit in a days Mountain bothering, and bagged my first two Munro's woohoo! as well as getting to the summit of the mighty scary 'Cobbler' (See below)
and to your left a bit please sir....
The Cobbler, definitely a brown trouser kind of mountain (And yes that IS me goddamit!)


12:27 am  


Tuesday, March 18, 2003  
Buying a T-Shirt isn't a lot, but you've got to do something to show the cabal of war crazy puritans running t'ings that you don't go along with their crap. All profits go to the Stop the War Coalition



1:15 am  


Monday, March 10, 2003  
Had a very pleasant weekend down in London village, doing my best to replace the 1905kcal burned off during the half marathon. Visits to Rasa, a superb curry house in Stoke Newington, a random Italian restaurant somewhere near the British Museum and a classic greasy spoon caff should have more than done the trick.

Also went to see a Lemon Jelly gig too. I do like Lemon Jelly, a lot, but i wasn't desperate to see them live, and only went along as i wanted to go to a gig, and it was the only band playing live i had any interest in at all in London last weekend. Probably a really bad attitude to go to a gig with, and so i shouldn't be surprised that i didn't enjoy it in the slightest.

There were a few token flashing lights on stage, but Lemon and Jelly themselves weren't doing much of interest, and when they did try to do stuff to liven things up, e.g. Throw some sweets into the crowd (ooh), i couln't help but think, "That's just a really lame attempt to liven things up", and then feel even more irritated by the whole thing.

To be fair though, most people seemed really into it, so maybe i just wasn't in the mood. Tediously enough, we were late, and so missed the mass bingo session(!) at the start, which maybe would have sparked my interest, and got me in the mood for crapper-than-on-cd renditions of my fave tracks like Ramblin' Man and The Mighty King Raam. Ho Hum.

Better stuff in London includes:
  • The British Musuem - Just the building itself is incredible, let alone the stacks of ancient gubbins, looted / rescued from all over the world. We only got to see the Elgin / Parthenon Marbles (Sorry William G., I had to have a look), and a section of all the old Egyptian gear, but i came out suitably awestruck

  • Highgate Cemetery - Eek! I wouldn't visit this place on a dark stormy night without a full set of Ghostbusting equipment. It's full of massive Hammer-horror-esque tombstones, mausoleums and in the middle, an incredible ring of walk-in, family crypts. During the 60's it became derelict and overgrown, and although it's now maintained by a charity, it's been left in an overgrown state, so as not to disturb all the wildlife that has moved in, and not to mention keeping it looking as spooky as possible. (Not too hard when you find out about it's history - Midnight exhumations to retrieve poetry buried from an ex-lover's grave, and nocturnal arrests of Vampire hunters)


  • BOO!
    The entrance to the 'Egyptian Avenue'. Not at all spooky.


  • Finally, i managed a quick trip to Tate Modern. We only had time to see the entrance hall, but when the entrance hall contains a three spouted, hundred metre long, purple trumpet-like thing, it's worth popping your head around the door

9:27 pm  


Sunday, March 02, 2003  
Ooh! Just noticed that the results are up. Click here and then stick my race number '3131' into the clever search thing, to see my official, er, stuff. (My actual time turned out to be 2 seconds quicker than i thought, 1hr:56mins:10secs, hurrah!) By the way, here's some other tedious information you may not be interested in, from my heart rate monitor: Average Heart rate 162bpm. Energy burned 1905kcal , 40% of which came from body fat. ooh.

I think all the obscure stats on the page are actually saying that i came 1842nd out of 2872 in the "blokes under 40" category. Hmmm, must try harder.

Further experimentation with the results doodah has revealed that my namesake Mark Edwards kicked my ass, and ran a very impressive 1:28:13. Respect. (Don't put in my number, just select the results for the MS category)

I've also discovered that so called "Andy Bush" beat me by one second. DAMN YOU BUSH! I'll have you next time, dagnabbit!

11:42 pm  


 
You know the kind of tiredness, where you're too tired to just go to sleep? That's the type of tiredness i'm currently experiencing, and hence i'm writing this, rather than going to bed. Although, i could nod off at any point, so if this post ends with zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I've probably fallen asleep with my nose on the z key.

Regular viewers may know that i did the 'London' half-marathon, round Silverstone this afternoon, hence the extreme levels of knackered-ness i'm currently experiencing. Despite feeling a bit weird now, i'm quite chuffed with how I got on, and my sub 2 hour time of 1hr:56mins:12secs(ish - the official results have yet to be posted).

Many thanks to Mum, Dad & Alison for their support, and post race flasks of tea. The sight of Mum & Dad hanging over the pit wall, like a slightly older, greyer and more mental version of the Ferrari pit crew spurred me on to a sprint finish. (Annoyingly though i was just out sprinted by a lycra-clad bird to my right, who got the louder cheers, bah!)

Also thanks to the makers of Power-Bars, Power-Gel and Lucozade sport - the heady cocktail of carbohydrates which got me round the 13 miles. Lucozade sport & bottles of water were also being dished out every couple of miles, far more often than was really needed, giving me the perfect opportunity to act like a professional cyclist, and take a couple of swigs from a water bottle, before slinging it off the side of the track with utter contempt. (Apologies to the poor buggers who have to pick up the litter and mop up the puddles of Lucozade sport before the F1 cars are allowed back on the circuit)

Regular viewers will also be un-suprised in the extreme that i set off ten minutes after everyone else. Look! It wasn't my fault i was late for this one OK??? Major traffic jams, and having to stop at a McDonald's to visit the lavvy, after 'over hydrating' myself, meant we even missed the delayed start time. However, as i constantly try to explain to everyone, being late usually works out alright in the end, and happily this was no exception.

Firstly i got to run with a charming Yorkshire lassie for the first 3 miles, which were almost deserted, save for a few 'plodders' and a man in a giraffe suit. I would have stayed with her for longer too, if i could run fast and talk at the same time, but sadly i can only do one or the other. The other benefit of missing the mass start was (apallingly) the ego boost of ripping through the slower half of the field for two hours! As i wasn't with the pace group i should have been with, I found myself weaving through slower runners the whole time, giving me the (entirely false) impression that i was possibly the most gifted athlete on the planet. Which may just last until the next time i go out with the Birstall Running club, and am left choking in the dust of a bunch of 50 year olds!

Well, i'll be off now, to go and polish my medal, and then fall deeply unconcious 5 minutes later. My official time, and pictures of me gurning my way up the home straight will be posted when i've edited them both to my satisfactionzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

11:28 pm  


Sunday, February 16, 2003  
Is it just me, or does everyone find that their life is just one long backlog of things to do?

Not being the best in the world at prioritising tasks either, i constantly find myself starting one job, and then halfway through realising i've got something else to do that's more important, leaving the first job, starting something else, and then doing the same with that job 10 minutes later.

Hence, as i type, i'm surrounded by half compiled cd's, half written letters, un-ironed clothes and un-watched Tour de France videos (When can you squeeze in 3.5 hours of cycling action these days?). I suppose everyone has the same amount of crap to deal with these days, and quite possibly just as much crap as people have had to deal with from the dawn of time, so i shouldn't moan. And come to think of it, i still had huge backlogs of stuff i wanted to do, even when i didn't have a job and was loafing around on beaches in Hawaii all day. Hmmmmm.

I really should start following the trusty MoSCoW methodology that we learnt in our OO lectures. Do what you Must do first, then what you Should do, then what you Could do and finally what you Want to do. Or alterntatively, i could just keep bumbling along in my tried and tested hapless style :o)


The one thing i think i have been making a reasonably good job of lately is my running. If you didn't already know, (and judging from the fact that Cat & Clare have arranged an engagement party on March 1st, some people don't) i'm doing my first half marathon on March 2nd. I managed a very hilly 12mile run last weekend, so i should be able to cope with the flatter 13miles round the Silverstone formula 1 track. Though i'm definitely not taking it lightly, as those 12 miles, we're possibly the 12 hardest things i've ever done in my life. By the end i was pulling a fairly grim looking grimace, and passers by did seem to be slightly concerned for me, though perhaps they were just worried about getting out of the way of the streams of sweat, snot and spit i was regularly expelling.

I've also finally got round to having a go with with the local (Birstall) running club, they seem like a pretty friendly bunch, and i managed to keep up with the slow group without any problems, so the running part of my ego was suitably boosted. On Monday i'm going to see how i get on with the middle speed group, so it may soon come back down to earth with a bump. (The high speed group looked like a bunch of Ron-Hill clad gazelles, one of whom was off on a 20-mile training run the next day, so i'm giving them a wide berth for now!).

Well, as it's a very rare sunny Sunday afternoon, i really should get out for another run i suppose. Or hang on, should i finish my letter to uncle Allen in Canada? What about all the ironing?? Oh, no all the washing up!?!? Aagh, i've not been to see Grandad all week too!! There's that Lucksmiths compilation CD to do for Tom too, not to mention the three books i'm halfway through reading. Bugger! and that website to do for Bill. Oooh! And the '89 tour video with the closest ever finish to watch NNNGAH! *Brain implodes*

4:45 pm  


Friday, February 14, 2003  
How gay am i? I've just got completely choked up watching Mark Fowler's final scene in Eastenders, where he tells his Mum he's dying of AIDS and then rides off into the sunset (Rainy night actually - come on, this is Eastenders after all). Sad i know, but it was surprisingly moving. Maybe i'm just tired and emotional after my first run with the Local Running Club :oS

Get yer apples an fackin Pears 'ere


Anyway i would write more, but BBC 3 is showing the next episode right after the last one, so i'm off to watch that right now. How will Pauline cope? Will Ricky run off with Nat? Will Doris run off with Jim? Will someone finally kill Ian Beale? I'll let you know.... (Apologies to anyone in NZ for whom i've just ruined the plot for the next 6 months, duh)

9:50 pm  


Thursday, February 13, 2003  
You may have guessed from the lack of excited posts about snowboarding, that sadly we didn't get snowed into Pas for another week. Although we did have to take a massive detour through Spain, so we got to see a bit more of the beautiful Pyrenees (Very NZ-esque), as well as some extremely Jean de Florette style villages when we finally made it back into France.

The bus journey began at 5am so it literally had quite a dreamy atmosphere to it, enhanced still further by listening to the wonderful new Charles Aznavour cd i bought in Andorra. The new Interpol and Beth Gibbons albums were very good too, but i thought Charles suited the trip slightly better.

Until i work out how to get the my photos off Dad's digital camera (Has anyone got a spare PS2 to serial lead?) here are a couple of pics taken by my Glaswegian snowboarding comrade Graham.


Psyching ourselves up for another blitz down the Nursery slope




Alison, Rob and me after having just heli-boarded off the peak in the background. Ahem




Woo!Woo!Woo! Snow = fun


And as you can see from my effortless stylishness, i have finally dispelled the myth that Red and Green don't go together. Hurrah!



8:53 pm  


Friday, January 31, 2003  
It´s been snowing in Pas de la Casa for 4 days.

It´s forecast to snow for 4 more days.

The access roads are closed.

I´ve learnt to snowboard.

You may never see me again.

Woooooooooooooooooooh!!!

11:18 pm  


Sunday, January 26, 2003  

Ted In NZ is closed for Snowboarding



Please forward all enquiries regarding Ted products and services to your regional branch of Ted Industries, for the next week as head office has gone to Pas de la Casa in Andorra to "bust" some "gnarly" "aerials" and "go sick" in some "phat powder", n' stuff.


Pas de la Casa - woo

3:37 am  


Tuesday, January 21, 2003  
Genius is a very over-used adjective these days, but i suspect that Wayne Coyne, lead singer of the Flaming Lips is indeed a genius of some kind. I've just got back from seeing them play at Rock City, and my face is still hurting from the stupid grin that i've been wearing all night.

I would write more about them now, but i can't remember the last time i had more that 5 hours sleep before going to work, so i really must go to bed asap.

Do you realize That everyone you know someday will die? And instead of saying all of your good-byes Let them know you realize that life goes fast It's hard to make the good things last You realize the sun doesn't go down It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

The Flaming Lips recently. Yes that is a dry ice machine he's wielding. And yes that is a megaphone he's singing through. And yes that is fake blood and confetti he's covered in.


I'll just leave you with the Band Line up from tonights gig, to give you a flavour of what was going on on-stage:

Wayne Coyne - Lead vocals, Nun puppet operator, Balloon distributor, Confetti thrower, Lamp twirler, Dry ice sprayer, Fake blood squirter and back-up hand held spotlight operator.
Pink Rabbit 1 - Drums, Backing Balloon distribution
Pink Rabbit 2 - Lead guitar, Backing Vocals & Balloon distribution
White Rabbits 1 & 2 - Lead Hand held spotlight operators
Zebra - Bass
Santa Claus - Keyboards
Tiger - Dancing & vibes

2:57 am  


Monday, January 20, 2003  
Has anyone else, approaching the age of 29, noticed that their eyebrow hairs are getting annoyingly long?

I suppose it'll be unsightly nose & ear hair next. Time to invest in a Remington FuzzAway or something i suppose, sigh....

Happily the annoyance of annoying hair is offset by the fact that i'm going to see the Flaming Lips at Rock city tomorrow night with Pablo, and also that i bought the extended version of the Fellowship of the Ring on DVD at the weekend. How much better does that extra half and hour make it?? (Rhetorical - a LOT better).

'Those evil-natured robots, they're programmed to destroy us'Ooh, Mr Frodo! How does that Cornish accent go again?
Two of the better things in life. Certainly better than unsightly eyebrow hair anyway

3:11 am  


Tuesday, January 07, 2003  
Do you ever worry that technology is slowly taking over the world? That computers have pervaded every aspect of our lives, and their evil AI is plotting to turn human kind into a race of brainless slaves, merely existing to wind up their batteries?

Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this...I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over.


I do. And I have the proof that their dastardly war on human kind has already begun.

There is something in my sister's bedroom that goes beep every hour. And despite 7 months of searching, she still has no idea what it is.

Although on second thoughts, this could just mean that my sister needs to tidy up her room, and start making changes! And not that a devious CPU is attempting to drive her mental.

12:33 am  


 
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