A happy-go-lucky English rambler dude goes to New Zealand for a year. Here he interfaces with some of those he left behind and details his nefarious activities. Or summat.
Recently clicked on MP3s - 7th June 2005 The Lucksmiths - Warmer Corners
Jens Lekman - When i said i wanted to be your dog
The Trashcan Sinatras - Weightlifting
Teenage Fanclub - Man Made
Laura Veirs - Carbon Glacier
The Decemberists - Picaresque
The Eels - Blinking Lights
Just spent the last few hours scanning photos of Sanjay, the Cricket and Mount Edward, and uploading them onto my photos page. (Links to the left)
I should write something about the trip down to Dunedin for the final, decisive 1-dayer, but it's getting rather late, and Michael's just texted me to say he's cooked up a load of vegetarian minestrone, so i'm off. Fear not though, as Ted in NZ's guest reporter Sanjay Dhiman has prepared an in depth account of the whole day. Including some post match debauchery with the England team themselves! Over to Sanjay..... [Please note the following article contains bad words and views which do not necessarily represent those of Ted in NZ - Though I do definitely hate Chris Fucking Cairns ;o)]
NZ seal the Series
Tues 26 Feb, may have been a watershed for the future of the England cricket team. Our cricket correspondent, Sanjay Dhiman recounts events fom the final onedayer in Dunedin.
The morning of the game and Dunedin was coming to life, as a steady stream of England fans entered this sleepy city. The police had decided to take a zero tolerance stance and had deployed all 36 officers for this category A game. The Albert Arms, 11:00. England fans had agreed to congregate here following a heavy session the night before, sadly started by the alcoholic, overpaid English journalists. Again the beers started to flow freely, and before long the classic song that first reared its head in Auckland reappeared.
"Chrisy Cairns...are you listening?"
"to the song that we're singing"
"with a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile"
"Cairnsy is a f**king paedeophile"
At this point I left procedings with the Barmy Army, although agreeing to meet them later. Dave Rowcroft, photographer, and I headed to the Outback Inn, home of the NZ "hardcore" support. Embarking their bus to the ground, we heard that they were ready to face the Barmy Army. On request they produced one of their classics.... "the wheels on the bus go round and round". Unimpressed, we gave the whole bus a rendition of the Cairns song, which produced a silence on the bus.
Arriving at Carrisbrook ("the house of pain"), we entered the terrace to find that the England support had taken residence directly behind the NZ "hardcore". Excellent positioning lads. The numbers swelled to a healthy amount. Indeed people were still arriving after England had lost 2 early wickets. My own friend Mark Edward, NZ correspondent, and his merry contingent from Christchurch joined myself, Dave, the beautiful Dorien (my g/f) and her friend Ilse.
The match itself was an uninspiring affair. Had it not been for the terrace banter, we may as well not have bothered. David Llyod and Bob Willis were spotted having their lunch in the boxes directly behind the Barmy Army. Unfortunate restaurant to choose, as Willis endured some abuse, until a police line established itself. After the break, England gave their usual lame fielding performance, which has ultimately cost them the series. The highlight of the NZ innings wasn't Astle's superb 100, but Cairns' dismissal for a duck. From the second he started his walk from the pavillion to several minutes after, the Barmy Army bellowed the "Cairns chant". This, in no small way, led to his dismissal, of that I am certain. NZ fans countered with the "Haka", a lame attempt at singing songs and the strange tradition of burning sofa cushions on the terraces??? Strange backward people!
Although destined to lose, the superb array of chants continued unabated from the Barmy Army. Classics such as.....
"You're just a third world country"
"Your sister is your mother"
"Youve got got six fingers on each hand"
"Weve got three dollars to the pound"
You get the picture? The series over, and the England support continued to the Carrisbrook Arms, waiting there for 2 hours for a taxi to town. The Captain Cook was the first port of call. Two hours and several pints later we arrived at JayCee's. Alcohol again continued to flow, and a very relaxed atmosphere was enjoyed by all, as Kiwis and Brits mixed.
At two o'clock the unexpected occurred. Flintoff entered the club. After crashing a cig from me and posing for photos, he was followed by Shah, Gough, Collingwood, Caddick, Trescothick and Vettori, Tuffey and McMillan from NZ. These lads started drinking, smoking and generally acting like the rest of us. Similar scenes to those involving Gazza and the England football team during the "dentists chair" incident. Shah was continually trying to crack onto my missus, until it became clear she was with me. As she was wearing my England shirt, Trescothick tried a different approach, and asked to buy the shirt. Then realising I wasnt Dutch (as Dorien is), apologised and carried on drinking. At 04:00 the lights came on, and bouncers were asking people to leave. It was then that Goughy decided he'd join in the antics. Jumping on the stage surround by English fans he started what can only be described as a Rugby song that the England fans mimiced). 04:30 and Goughy agreed to step down.
Our little party headed back to our hostel, but the chanting could be heard the other end of town. Im sure that the drinking continued long into the early hours. If this is what the England team are doing between matches, then I dont hold much hope for the test series.
